Archive for April, 2006

The Most Dangerous Element?

ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by vanessa on April 29th, 2006 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Random stuff | 1 Comment »

New Podcast Available!

Dave let me record our session together. Thanks, Dave!

icon for podpress  VanessaCast2 - Dave [4:23m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Posted by vanessa on April 29th, 2006 .
Filed under: Podcasts | No Comments »

Pyrex: It’s not just for baking anymore…

Those of you who have listened to my live broadcasts know that my absolute favorite toy right now is a pyrex dildo. I never imagined that a piece of borosilicate glass could feel so good sliding in and out of my business. Pyrex is absolutely frictionless, far and away the smoothest thing that has ever seen the inside of my punani.

Purchasing a glass fuck toy is not as simple as it sounds. Glass toys can be very pricey, and the selection is massive, so you will want to think carefully before shelling out $50-$150 (or more) for a glass johnson. Every toy imaginable is now made from glass, including double-endeds, butt plugs, strap ons, juicers, etc. However, all pyrex dildos are not created equal. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by vanessa on April 27th, 2006 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff | No Comments »

My First Podcast Is Ready!

With thanks and sloppy kisses to Andrew, my first podcast is done and available for download!

Check it out and let me know what you think…

icon for podpress  VanessaCast1 - Andrew [8:34m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Posted by vanessa on April 23rd, 2006 .
Filed under: Podcasts | No Comments »

They can have my dildo when they pry it from my cold, dead hands…

If I’ve learned anything from chatting up guys online, it’s that Americans are only puritanical on the outside. We all like to get our freak on…we just don’t want anyone to know it! I guess Rep. Davenport thinks that banning sex toys will make a good campaign platform. I wonder whether Mrs. Davenport is speaking to her husband right now…

Bill would make sale of sex toys illegal in South Carolina

By SEANNA ADCOX
The Associated Press

April 21, 2006

COLUMBIA — Lucy’s Love Shop employee Wanda Gillespie said she was flabbergasted that South Carolina’s Legislature is considering outlawing sex toys. But banning the sale of sex toys is actually quite common in some Southern states.The South Carolina bill, proposed by Republican Rep. Ralph Davenport, would make it a felony to sell devices used primarily for sexual stimulation and allow law enforcement to seize sex toys from raided businesses. Read the full story (and weep)

Tell Rep. Davenport what you think about me using my sex toys…

Representative G. Ralph Davenport, Jr.
District 37 - Spartanburg Co.
Contact Address:
(H) 105 Ashland Terrace, Boiling Springs, 29316
Bus. (864) 814-0070
Home (864) 578-3053
(C) 522A Blatt Bldg., Columbia, 29211
Bus. (803) 734-3098
Email GRD@schouse.org

Posted by vanessa on April 23rd, 2006 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff | No Comments »

It’s all in the translation…

Translator unknown:  found on Naughty.com  (if anyone knows the original author, please let me know so I can credit it properly)

Rap Lyrics For The Rest Of Us

Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
Album: Ready to Die
Song: One more chance (remix)

Lyrics:
First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
Dummies — playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money
Those the ones I like ’cause they don’t get nathan’
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
However, I stay coochied down to the socks Rings and watch filled with rocks

TRANSLATION:
As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by vanessa on April 21st, 2006 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Random stuff | No Comments »

What Her Body Is Telling You

10 subtle signs of what she’s thinking and feeling

Guys, if you’re paying close enough attention to notice these signs, that’s a big turn-on already!  I don’t know about my breasts increasing in size by 25% when I’m aroused…but it sounds impressive.  Oh, and bring on the warm banana-nut bread, baby!

  What Her Body Is Telling You

 

Posted by vanessa on April 20th, 2006 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff | No Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

vanessa@talktovanessa.com

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.