Archive for March, 2007

Sugasm #72

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #73? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Big-Titted Muses (
“In the span of fifteen seconds, these two lovers instantly own the room, the camera, the cock.”

Make it happen (
“Dip two strawberries in the chocolate, eat one and feed me the other.”

Water, Water Everywhere… (
“He pauses there, feeling the weight in his hands, then soaps my breasts, rubbing the nipples between his fingers and thumb.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Nathalie Portman is Naked (

Editor’s Choice
Control (

NSFW Pics (& videos)
Bathtub #2 HNT (
Cockslut Column #8 (
Jamie Lynn Nude (
Nikki benz episode 6 (
Oh these college girls (
Pretty In Pink (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Always a Junkie (
The Blind Leading the Deaf (
The Early Days of Porn (
Fears and Tears (
Female Genital Mutilation vs. Hoodectomy (
More Sex Sometimes Leads to More Sex (
Skin on Skin (

Sex Advice
Ask Evil Baby! (
Reader Says: Ack! Ex Wants To Be Friends! What Now? (

Sex Work
Sex Work and Society (
Smooth is good, Smoother is better (

BDSM & Fetish
Amber (Part Six) April Fool’s (
Big O’s (
Do as you please with me Sir, i am yours (
Exposed (
Happy HNT - Hearts and fetish (
Just Rope (
Meeboguest G confesses: “I suck his cock” (
Whispers (

Sex Reviews
A Few of My Favorite Naughty Things Part II (
Love Honey Toys Review (
Vibrating Feeldoe Review (
Web Cam Girls for Live Chat (

Erotic Writing and Experiences
After his date. (
Another moment of promise. (
Ball Games (
Catch Me Off Guard (
Country Bar Bull Pickup (
First Time pt. 4 (
Fuckmaker’s Paradise (
A Love Triangle (
The Soap Job (
Three Way (
A Tiny Bed (
Until It Was Time For More (

Sex & Politics
Living in Sin (
Real Amateur College Porn (But Not How You Think) (

More Sugasm
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Posted by vanessa on March 27th, 2007 .
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Spring Cutie

Spring is my favorite time of year. Everything is so…fertile.

This little honey is for me–she is SO my type. I can’t believe someone actually put a stamp on her and mailed her!

Mmmmmmm. Happy Spring. Enjoy!

Spring Cutie

Posted by vanessa on March 21st, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff | No Comments »

The Blind Leading The Deaf

So this was in the headlines today…

Blind auto mechanic hires deaf assistant - Yahoo! News

You’re wondering how I’m going to relate this to sex? Actually, it wasn’t difficult. This strikes me as a metaphor.

Communication GapImagine the blind mechanic is a woman. Her deaf assistant is her male partner. Both are completely capable of being sexual ‘masters of their domain.’ It’s when you put them together that things can get lost in translation.

The mechanic and the assistant in the news story communicate through an interpreter. While, admittedly, this would make the intricacies of sexual relationships much easier to navigate, most couples don’t have that luxury. How often do we really receive and comprehend the messages we’re getting from our partner?

I’ve been guilty of complacency when it comes to communicating my needs/desires/moods. I’ve also been guilty of failing to pay attention to the signals my partner is sending me. Sometimes, I was just too lazy to listen. It’s much easier to just go through the motions sometimes. To do the same things over and over because, well, it always worked before. Admit it. You’ve done it too.

What I love about this story is that these two people are fully aware of the challenges in their relationship, and are making a very deliberate effort to work around their limitations. To stretch their own boundaries, even. They’ve figured out how to communicate with one another, and their communication requires complete participation. They must devote their whole attention to their effort. It’s all or nothing.

What if we all tried that approach, just once? Just for an evening? An hour? A moment? To devote our entire attention to really listening to our partner. To be fully present, both giving and receiving, communicating and comprehending. Absorbing everything…not just verbal cues…everything.

How much better would our sexual experience be?

Posted by vanessa on March 20th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff On My Mind | 2 Comments »

Sugasm #71

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #72? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
“Her sighs of contentment build as my touch does its work.”

Wrong Number (
“They said clients were trying to call me and getting this restaurant instead.”

Ride to the Cabin (
“As he pulled into a dark lane that led into a grove of trees, I reached over to stroke him.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Loveland (

Editor’s Choice
Your hair (

Erotic Writing and Experiences
3 is The Magic Number: Three Songs (
AMBER~~”Anything You Want” (Part Four) (
The Desperate Tango (
The Dress II (
Entry Box…. (
Midnight Thrusts (
My Wet Dream (
The Need (
Public Affections (
Rug Burn (
Setting Your Panties on Fire (
Startled Awakening (
That night instead of round 2, I passed out (
Turning Tricks for Tapas, Dos (
Why Aren’t You Naked? (

Podcasts & Poetry
“Cocaine” Kimberly Was Her Working Name (
Episode #1-Sex with another woman (
Styx Orchestra-Inspired Poem, thanks to Public TV (

Sex Work
During (

BDSM & Fetish
Birthday Spankings! (
Distracted pixie (
Happy HNT - Sexy St. Patrick’s day (
His rope (
Marked (
Nature versus nurture, spanking-style (
Relationships and the lifestyle (
“So punish me” (
Solipsist’s travels in subspace (
Zapped (

Sex News & Politics
The Flaming Genitals Archive (
Morality in Media Loses Congressional Funding (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Afro-desiacs and “Blow” Jobs (
Feeling Unsafe– Tease Me! (
Lights On or Lights Off? (
My Own Sex Confession (Part Two) (
The SXSW date that wasn’t, and why (

NSFW Pics (& videos)
Can’t blame a man for being a man (video) (
Half-Nekkid Thursday: G-String Season (
Half-Nekkid Merkin (
Half-Nekkid Sex Blogger (
Nora Marlo Peek-A-Boo Shots (
Poll result: Shower sex (
Stairway To Heaven (video) (

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Posted by vanessa on March 20th, 2007 .
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I Can’t Wait To See THAT Boilerplate…

What if a Dominant could be held criminally liable for being…well…a Dom? What if he/she is a sadistic, egomaniacal asshole? Does it make a difference? When consentual sexual behavior involves physical and psychological abuse, torture, and even agreed-upon non-consentual sex (rape fantasies, anyone?), the legal boundaries can get pretty murky. Tristan Taormino comments on an unusual federal case for the Village Voice:

Whip Appealed

A BDSM court case puts master/slave relationships on trial

by Tristan Taormino March 19th, 2007 11:18 AM

…”Much of Jodi’s testimony was about being subjected to pain, punishment, and humiliation. Most people don’t want to be controlled, used, hurt, tortured, or degraded, so it’s hard for them to comprehend that some people want to experience sensations and emotions that are generally considered negative or painful…”

“…Because these are federal charges, Marcus faces life in prison, a fact that has sent a chill down the spines of some BDSM community members.” Read the rest.

Will a Sub need to draw up legal documents outlining the terms of his/her sexual consent? Should a Dom require a signed release prior to using any restraints or torture devices? This is a very slippery slope. I obviously don’t know the details of the relationship between Marcus and Jodi, but it does make me wonder where we go from here.


Posted by vanessa on March 19th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Strange Stuff, Stuff On My Mind | No Comments »

Sugasm #70

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #71? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
You’re So Dirty When You’re Clean. (
“The side of your hand slipping along her pussy lips. Her laugh, a mix of I-knew-it and do-that-more.”

Before (
“Condoms and lube go into the bedside drawer next to the Bible. Purse into the drawer with clothes, whore-bag into the closet with my street shoes.”

Rude Bits: Tracy Quan on the Raunch Debate (

“If someone is making money off your body, you should too.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sex Mad(ness) (

Editor’s Choice
The art of pegs (some artistic CBT) (

NSFW Pics (& videos)
Heart Panties HNT (
Hillary scott episode 4 (
Just Teen Site’s Latest Nude Photo and Video ( )
Light’s Out! (
Veronika Zemanova Nude (

Sexual Poetry
Free verse smut (
Keys (
Poem: “International Women’s Day” (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Confessors and Confessions (
Fuck Me, Daddy and Other Lessons (Part Two) (
A Fuck Superlative: Coming Together (
Hello, it’s Me, Again! (
Once a Junkie… (
Release (
Well, at least I have some good sexy thoughts anyways… ( )
Why I don’t do Myspace ( )

Sex and Politics
GOPorn: Smut and the American Conservative (
The Plot Thickens (
Teacher Fired over Porn Pop Ups (

BDSM & Fetish
A Confession (
Fake Spanking Filmmakers (
Fetish (
Happy HNT - Nipple clamp torture (
The Ideal Fantasy School (
Instant Replay (
Isabella’s Eyes - Part XV (
Sharing (
Y is for yes please (

Erotic Writing and Experiences
5 Questions - A house in the country - Part One ( )
Afternoon Delight (part 2) (
A Fish Story (
Just one hour to fuck (
A Little Anal (
The long tease (
Love Runs Hot (
Message Received (
My girlfriend the stripper, part 6 (
Snowbound (
A Soft Romance (
Vanilla spicy (

More Sugasm
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Posted by vanessa on March 17th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sugasm | Comments Off

Sex or Fashion? Ummm, that’s a toughie.

Are women seriously more interested in fashion than sex? Guys, you might need to reconsider that birthday gift…

Study suggests women value clothes over sex
According to a pre-Valentine poll taken by consumer products company Unilever, the average woman would prefer to abstain from sex for up to 15 months in exchange for a closet full of new clothes.”

Source: Janice McDuffee for

I’m not really all that concerned with clothes. All I can say is…can I show you my new Gucci bag? It’s to die for!!

I Dream Of Gucci

Posted by vanessa on March 14th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff | No Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.