Archive for August, 2007


A_Noyer_1708_a Real intimacy.

I had never experienced actual intimacy before now. The kind that makes you feel as though your souls are embracing.

OK, it sounds soppy and starry-eyed. But for someone with a history of boundary and trust issues, letting go to experience true intimacy is damn near earth-shattering.

True intimacy.

I had no idea what that was. Sure, I’ve had “intimate” relations with my share of men…but it’s always been sex. I’ve not made this admission publicly before, but I would always detach — having almost an out-of-body experience — during sex. Like what I imagine a prostitute or porn actress does. Even with a (former) husband of almost 2 decades.

Yeah, it was probably some kind of protective mechanism. If I’m not mentally/emotionally present, then I’m not letting anyone get close, right? It’s just sex. It might even be good sex. Hell, some of it was downright nasty, wild monkey-sex. But it’s still just sex. And it always left me feeling hollow. Unfulfilled.

Obviously it didn’t happen all at once. And I don’t think it could have happened with anyone else, ever. We just made this spiritual connection early in our relationship and took it to depths we never imagined possible. It required a commitment to absolute honesty, soul-baring confessions of past sins, tears, forgiveness, comfort, passion and a big heaping helping of love.

Our sex life has changed dramatically. It was always great. Now it’s transcendent. Truly amazing. Almost tantric. I’m always present. And it’s better than I could have ever imagined.

Posted by vanessa on August 23rd, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff I Wrote | 1 Comment »

Sugasm #93

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #94? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Between Baths
“His tongue licks along the edge of my thong and then slips underneath, and then he pulls the material aside so he can get to me.”

Fantasy Vs. Reality: What Is Cheating?
“Paid escort work is fantasy; dating me is reality.”

How To Set Up an MFM Threesome
“You’d be surprised how many guys will say they can’t wait to bed her down, then chicken out or not show up after you’ve shelled out money for a hotel room.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Neal Mather Fetish Figurenes

Editor’s Choice
Need a hand?

Erotic Writing and Experiences
And the answer is
Christening The Bed
Episode One
Sally & Bill

Sex Audio & Podcasts
Almost Perfect
Nobilis Erotica 30-Woman of the Mountain

NSFW Pics & Videos
Bree olsen episode 1
Catalina loves Guest HNT Posts!
Georgi (I Shot Myself)
Half-Nekkid at the BBQ
I Feel Myself
Photo of the Moment: Curvy Girls
Sexy DJane Jesse Capelli
Sexy showgirl upskirt pinup photo
Tits for the Troops #5

Sex Work
Breakdown Of A Quickie
Objectify Me

BDSM & Fetish
Calling All film slaves in the New York/New Jersey area!!!
Friday night
Fucked to bits
Happy HNT - A switching in the old abandoned cabin
Let’s give the boy a hand! - Part Two of Text Message Mayhem
An Ode to Bondage
Playing with Morgan
Social Kink Interviews The Knotty Boys (Shibari, Bondage)
Sweet Possession
Trembling, redux

Sex News & Reviews
Aneros Progasm Prostate Massager Review

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Did you have sex?
Half-Nekkid and Openly Bisexual
Keeping Secrets
Love Sick
Mirror, Mirror
More On Cougars - Older Men, Younger Women, Mistresses and Married Men
Playing with my Barbie
Skanky Panties & The Business of Faux Fish Juices

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Posted by vanessa on August 21st, 2007 .
Filed under: Sugasm | Comments Off

Vintage Languor

Languor (lnggr,) noun: A dreamy, lazy mood or quality


Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by vanessa on August 19th, 2007 .
Filed under: Vintage Pics | No Comments »

HNT - The Ribeye Incident

burnOK, so here is the aftermath:

Now, at first glance, it doesn’t seem like much…a teeny little mark on my right foot.

It’s not that bad, really. A little burn.

How did I get it? Now there’s the story.

All I wanted was a good steak. It had been a while since I had one, and I thought I would make one for myself. I carefully made all the necessary preparations. Got myself a ribeye steak. Not the best cut, granted, but beef here in the UK is freakin’ expensive.  Anyway, ribeye.  Tesco’s finest. Aged 27 days. Seasoned, lovely, ready for the grill.

At this point, you’re thinking “ah, grease splatter.” Nope. Read on.

Steak in broiler. Smells wonderful. Almost ready to turn over.

Then, BOOM.

The fucker exploded.

No, not the steak.


Seriously. It blew the hell up. Rainshower of :scare: safety :scare2: glass over the kitchen. One piece actually melted the floor. One piece hit my foot, which resulted in the aforementioned burn.

Mr. Vanessa, vegan, did not fail to point out the irony.

Steak and oven are a total loss.

I’m grieving over the steak.


Posted by vanessa on August 16th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Pics of Me | 4 Comments »

The Gray-Blues

s003-4I think I’ve figured it out. I’m slowly becoming an albino.

Every month I stand in the same spot (in front of a large mirror with great lighting) and tweeze out a few of these really strange hairs from my head. These unusual hairs have completely lost their pigmentation and contrast markedly with my natural, (waist-length) dark brown locks.

Each month, there seems to be an ever larger number of these pigment-free hairs. I can only assume that I am a late-blooming (Type-II?) albino. Any day now, I expect my eyes to lose their deep coffee color as well.

There can be no other explanation, as I am still on the fun side of forty, thus, it is incomprehensible that these unusual findings would have any relation to age. I am at my sexual peak. I am a sex blogger. I am ageless.

I will begin to do research into becoming albinistic.

I imagine I will need to stay out of the sun, as the natural melanin in my formerly tan-friendly skin will diminish, and I shall become much more likely to burn.

I will most likely need to wear sunglasses, as I shall become photophobic.

I may join a support group, say the Albinism Fellowship (UK and Ireland) or NOAH (in the US).

I shall listen to Johnny and/or Edgar Winter in a show of solidarity.

This should be a fascinating case. I may even make it into JAMA.

I promise to keep you posted with any new developments as they unfold.

Posted by vanessa on August 15th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff I Wrote | 1 Comment »

Sugasm #92

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #93? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Do one thing every day that scares you…
“What I didn’t know-that it would turn me on as much as it hurt me.”

Interview With Deborah Jeane Palfrey, AKA The DC Madam
“I wanted to see coverage treating sex workers as just that-workers.”

Rough Sex - with pictures
“She bites, she writhes, she moans, she claws- none of which she can remember after.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Keep Britain Tidy, Gimp

Editor’s Choice
In Her Mind, the Pigeons Were Always Fucking

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Homosexual myths
Sexual powerlessness
That Thorny Bisexual Thing….
Weird things happen every day

BDSM & Fetish
Asking For A Caning
Bully (working title)
The Challenge, part 1
Every blog should have a slave…
Half-Nekkid Tattoo 2
Happy HNT - Tit flash in a boat
Overpower, part 2
Request, granted

Sex Poetry
Heaven is a place
Tonight I’m going to
Vodka Confessions

Sex Audio & Podcasts
Musical Intro #2: sexual nostalgia (Mixed Media.)
Nobilis Erotica 29 — Someone New

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Catalina loves Penelope and Odysseus
Devil’s Last Dance (PJ story)
The Dream
I’m A Woman Man: Episode 5 - Hands
The Most Famous Cock in the World
My slum goddess
Vignette: 3 #2

Sex News
The Birth of The Eye of Venus
Errotica archives
Which One of My subs Is This???

Sex Humor
Kink In The Mainstream - Family Guy In Texas

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Britney Caught topless with a Stranger in Hotel Pool
Half-Nekkid and Proud to Be Me
Half-Nekkid Thursday: Begging to Be Spanked
Red Handed Porn
Zurich (nsfw)

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Posted by vanessa on August 14th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sugasm | Comments Off

Mmm. Slurp These Noodles, Baby!

I can be a bit technologically bipolar. When I buy a new gadget, I need to have the absolute cutting edge. But when it comes to popular trends in software, I tend to dig in my heels.

I’ve only just downloaded my very first RSS feed reader, the 30-day trial version of FeedDemon from Newsgator. So far, so good. It’s allowed me to catch up on all the wonderful blogs I [say I] read, as well as find a few new ones, and keep up with the news without having to search it out and visit all the websites I hate.

So I’m reading the feed for Forbes (yes, Vanessa does read more than sex blogs) and I find this.

The Chinese chapter of the International Ramen Manufacturers’ Association could be banned for allegedly manipulating the retail price of 95% of instant noodles on the market in the country.

topramenWe’re talking about pot noodles, the staple of every college dormitory and probable source of 90% of all dietary sodium consumed worldwide.

When something costs $0.12/package, it’s hard to imagine any sort of price-fixing, and it made me giggle. But I think what made me almost wet my pants was the idea of an International Ramen Manufacturers’ Association.

I couldn’t help myself. I had to google the IRMA. Here is their charter:

The purpose of the Association shall be to seek improvement in the quality of instant ramen products, to secure their continued supply, and to contribute to a healthy and varied diet for the people all over the world.
At the same time, the Association shall seek to develop the instant ramen manufacturing industry, improve its social status and cultivate fellowship among its members.

I am not making this up.

At this year’s 5th Annual World Ramen Summit the theme was “Happy World with Ramen!” with presentations on such topics as “National Trends in Instant Noodles Demands.”

They have even developed a codex for “The First Year Of Global Standard Ramen.”

oodlesofnoodlesTo their credit, they do supply hundreds of thousands of units of ramen noodles to disaster victims worldwide. “for the victims who were suffered from disasters such as typhoon, earthquake and tsunami.”

Not quite sure where the victims get the hot water, though. I’ll have to think that through…

Posted by vanessa on August 12th, 2007 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff | No Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.