Okay, you’re in a new relationship. You like this person, and you hope that it will last. You want some solid, tried-and-true advice on mistakes to avoid. So who better to ask than someone who has all the answers? Someone who is there for you 24/7? Someone who won’t ever get sick of your questions?
That’s right, a stranger on the internet! At least that’s who I went to at the start of my most recent relationship. A quick Google search of “new relationship mistakes” brought me a flurry of tips sure to lead me to success.
“7 Things To Avoid In A New Relationship,” click. “Do NOT Mess These 9 Things Up With A New Boo” scrolling. “11 Photos Of Tiny Animals Hugging,” save to favorites.
I devoured tips from my friends (websites) until I was sure I knew exactly how to act around my love interest. There was no way I was going to mess anything up. Relationship solved. I am a God.
But alas, as time went on, it became clear that I am but a mere mortal. I committed at least five of the cardinal new relationship sins. I held my breath waiting for my S.O. to go AWOL., but he never did. Nearly a year later, my mistakes have yet to come back to haunt me. It got me thinking, maybe these five common rules need some revisions.
Mistake: Don’t get physical too early on
Revision: Let’s get physical (as soon as you’re both ready)
I suspect this tip may also be rooted in the fallacy that certain people (ahem, all ladies) are not really interested in sex, and that other certain people (cough, cough, all men) are only interested in sex. Wrong and wrong.
When it comes to sex, we all have different comfort levels. For some people, good sex is a prerequisite for a good relationship. They would hate to get a month in, become emotionally attached, and find out there’s absolutely no physical chemistry. For others, spending that time developing an emotional connection makes them feel ready for the physical stuff — and makes it more enjoyable.