5 Tips for Dating an Introvert

I knew my husband and I would be a good match early on. We really would have enjoyed “long quiet walks on the beach” – if there had only been a beach in the small city where we lived. But given there were no sandy shores nearby, we settled for other quiet activities in our dating life. We loved to cook together, read or watch a movie.

Admittedly this “wild and crazy” socializing is not every one’s idea of a good time. But it worked for us when we first met. And now, happily married for a long time, we still love it when we have “nothing” planned for a Saturday night.

What is an Introvert?

So, what kind of people would rather stay in and read than party all night? One of the popular personality assessments, the MBTI, classifies people as either “introverts” or “extroverts”.  The Meyers & Briggs Foundation  explains it this way: “Where do you put your attention and get your energy? Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?”

As you may have guessed, my husband and I are both introverts.

Tips for Dating an Introvert

But what if you are an extrovert who has fallen in love with an introvert?

If I had fallen in love with an extrovert instead of an introvert, here is what I would have told him.

  1. No surprises, please!

As an introvert, I’m not as spontaneous as my extroverted friends. I like to make plans in advance, not at the last minute. “Surprises” like surprise birthday parties, surprise drop-ins, or surprise concert tickets are not always good surprises. If you want to throw me a party, great—but please ask me first!

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