6 Questions To Ask Your Partner — And Yourself — Before Getting Married

Whether you’ve been dating your partner for weeks, months, or years, it’s perfectly normal for the idea of marriage to creep into your brain. You may find yourself asking questions like, “Is this someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with?” “Are we compatible?” “Is my current partner a good match for me?”

The unfortunate fact is that we can’t always know definitively whether or not someone will be the perfect partner forever. Life happens. Events change. Things could warp on a dime, and the person you were so sure about could turn out to be someone else entirely.

But, if you start out with a good foundation, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to weather emotional storms like that. And luckily, there are simple ways to figure out whether or not you and your partner are good matches for one another in the long term. Ahead, Dr. Amie Harwick, a marriage and family therapist, breaks down questions you should ask before marriage, both to your partner and yourself.

Ask Your Partner These Questions:

  1. What does marriage look like to you?
  2. What are your values on money, children, and buying a home?
  3. How do you think married couples should handle conflict?

“These questions are important because they indicate some level of clarity on values, expectations, and conflict resolution,” Dr. Harwick says. “Part of identifying if a partner is a good fit for you, is to be able to communicate about values and expectations in the relationship.” While it’s common to believe that passion for one another is the main driver in a long-term relationship, Dr. Harwick says that it goes beyond that.

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