Toy Review: Natural Contours Liberte Vibrator

I was sent the Natural Contours Liberte Vibrator from BetterSex.com to review. I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all, it was free.

If I were using this as a dildo, I would give it a great review. In fact, I might just try it as a it makes an excellent G-spot stimulator. Its very smooth and comfortable to hold in the hand. As a clitoral stimulator, however, it is sorely lacking.

First, it doesn’t have nearly enough power to get me off, since it only runs on 2 AA batteries (included). You guys know Im a plug-in girl, but some battery-operated vibes have been known to pleasure me – I always give them the benefit of the doubt until they let me down. Lady Liberte didn’t really let me down – she let my clit down.

The controls are fiddly, too. Basically, it has just a single toggle button. The button runs through the speeds in the wrong direction. The first speed is the highest speed. If you want to change speeds, you must go through all the speeds, High>Med>Low>High Pulse>Off (!?) – to select which you want. I would prefer the speed to increase with the push of a button, not decrease, and I would REALLY prefer to be able to adjust it up or down without turning it off, for chrissakes. Talk about a mood killer!

I haven’t tried any other products in this line. I would go with a product in the same line provided it had more power and a better designed control.

The Politics Of Swinging

Things got very interesting over the last month. I blame it on the retrograde Mercury, but Mr. Vanessa doesnt believe in my astrology.

See, Mr. Vanessa was encouraging me to fulfill my fantasies sooner, rather than later. More than encouraging. Actively arranging. Pushing, even.

I was titillated, yes. Excited, definitely. That led down a very slippery slope that eventually resulted in us accepting an invitation to this weekends private monthly couples party in our little neck of the woods.

Long story short, lingerie was purchased. Condoms were ordered. Shoes (sexy, high-heeled shoes) were found. Toys were considered. Ground rules were discussed. Boundaries were stretched.

Then things came to a screeching halt. In the space of about 15 minutes things went from open marriage to do it and we divorce.

We opened Pandoras box and I peeked inside and liked what I saw. Very! Much! But my fingers were still on the edge of the box when the lid was unexpectedly slammed shut. Hard. And locked.

Yes, Im still reeling. Confused. Disappointed. Hurt.

I dont blame him. I dont blame me. I blame the Mercury retrograde.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled marital programming after a few words from our sponsors.

And sincere public apologies to A., a dear friend who didnt deserve to be led down that road, enticed, seduced, excited, liaison arranged-and-scuttled all in the same 15 minutes because of our folly. Im sorry. Thank you for being a good sport about it all.

Vegans Say Sex With Carnivores Stinks?

I wonder how much of New Zealand’s public money went into this study.

Vegans say sex with meat-eaters stinks

NEW YORK, Aug. 2 (UPI) Strict vegetarians known as vegans find sex with meat-eaters repulsive, or as one New York vegan described it, pungent and stinky.
New Zealand researcher Annie Potts, of the University of Canterbury’s Center for Human-Animal Studies, interviewed 157 vegans, 120 of whom were female, on their sexual preferences.
In an interview with ABC News in New York, Potts said all of the female vegans didn’t want to engage in intimate sex because of the smells and tastes of their body fluids. Full Story

Well, dear readers, Mr. Vanessa enjoys a vegan diet, while Vanessa chooses to be an omnivore. Mr. Vanessa says he hates when vegans make comments like this because it ruins it for the rest of us and makes all vegans look like elitist assholes.

And Mr. Vanessa has, to date, registered no complaints about the taste of Vanessa’s love honey.

This whole argument, however, makes one wonder whether vegans should be consuming any human bodily fluid in the first place though you wont hear me complaining.

Toy Review: The Eroscillator

Friends, lovers, playmates; in honor of May being Masturbation Month, I give you The Eroscillator.

**trumpet fanfare**

Let me start off by saying that its taken me six months to write this review. That’s not because I haven’t wanted to. Its because Ive been doing um extensive research. In the name of journalistic integrity, of course. In fact, the Eroscillator has been the most rigorously tested of any toy Ive reviewed.

Dr. Ruth has never endorsed another sensual aid, but she is the Eroscillator celebrity endorse-person. That got my attention. I had to try it. So, the Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo was my Xmas prezzie.

Admittedly, when I saw this puppy my first thought was, dayyumm, that’s one expensive vibrator! Are the reviews true? Could it really be worth it?

Oh yes. Every freakin penny. Read on.

First of all, the Eroscillator is NOT a vibrator. A vibrator vibrates. A vibrator feels nice for a while, but eventually makes my clit numb. When my clit is numb, well, I’m done for the night. I might not want to be done but, Goodnight, Irene. I. Am. Finished.

Smart Oscillating Engine. The Eroscillator uses sophisticated Swiss engineering to oscillate back and forth inside the housing for powerful but gentle stimulation. It doesn’t vibrate. It doesn’t make my clit numb. That’s a big deal. Huge. Limitless-Orgasms-Huge. And, the head moves inside the housing, so the housing stays put. I’m stimulating my punani, not my hand.

Multiple Power Settings. One critical distinction is that the speeds don’t increase the frequency of the movement they increase the intensity. That means every speed is enjoyable. I cant say that about something like the Hitachi Magic Wand. (Actually, the HMW is just a half-step down from a belt sander. Not clit-friendly.) The Eroscillators three speeds are powered by a 14v motor (step-down converted so its safer for you) and 12-feet of cord. Yes, you read that right. 12 feet. It will reach to the chandeliers. Hell, I can plug this baby in and take it halfway to Marks & Spencer. What I’m trying to say is that the cord doesn’t get in the way when were gettin our freak on.

Whisper Quiet. Yeah, it really is. We were pleasantly surprised. No distracting lawnmower buzzing during the intimate moments. My apologies if you have a lawnmower fetish.

Watertight. Can be washed under running water so you’re ready to go for next time. I wouldn’t take it in the bath, though. (That’s why God created the WaterPik Shower Massage.)

So, on to my experience. Right out of the box, I had one of the fastest, most intense orgasms of my life. It took about 90 seconds, tops. My lips (on my face) were literally quivering. This was a whole different level of orgasm. Like a higher plane of consciousness. Incredible. Then I just kept on going er coming. Actually, I didn’t know whether I was coming OR going. One after another after another. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to stop until I was spent. When it was over, I was but a whimper on a tangled heap of soaked sheets.

The next day, I threw my other vibrators out.

The Eroscillator comes in your choice of two versions and five packages. The Eroscillator 2 Plus packages come with some basic head attachments and a standard power appliance. The Top Deluxe model has extra power, for women like me who need a little boost, and more attachments. All attachments are available separately too. I was lucky enough to get the Ultimate Combo. Yep, I got the whole enchilada for my pink taco. Holy guacamole!!

My favorite attachment? The Ultra Soft Finger Tip (pictured below). Its a medical grade silicone elastomer just the right amount of squishiness to give a really lovely clit licking.

This is one toy that gets my unequivocal yes. Yes. GOD, YES!

If you own a clitoris, you simply must treat yourself. I cant stress this enough. If your partner has one, surprise her and make her decade. You wont regret it.

Oh, you can support this site by ordering it through my affiliate link below and Amazon will gimme some candy!

I’m hearing rumors about their companion product for men, the Ooh-la-la! Prostate Massager with the PowerPenis Bell. The Husband is interested in reviewing one, but I don’t know that the company is quite that generous.

I’m off to do some more research. If you play your cards right, youll get a taste before Masturbation Month is overstay tuned for a surprise or two.

And here’s to it always being May in your pants.

Back Trouble = Sex Trouble

So, where the hell have I been? My sweetie decided to get himself a herniated disc and the resulting sciatica. Net result is lots of caregiving, little blogging, and even less sex.

And so it goesenjoy the Sugasms while we both recover.

P.S. I need an Eroscillator, STAT!!