Archive for the 'Lists of Stuff' Category

This Day In England

Well, you can learn quite a bit about England from just one day’s news. Here are a few tidbits I have learned today about the little place I’ve been calling home for the past nine months…

  1. If a fire breaks out, tough. Suck it up, Nancy!
  2. We got us some pervs. actually, these guys give pervs a bad name
  3. We have a teeny drinking problem. d’oh!
  4. We’re all gonna die in a horrible flood. again, d’oh!
  5. We’re all gonna die in a massive suicide bombing. Did the knighthood committee really think that through?
  6. If #4 & 5 don’t happen, stay out of the hospital. Those places will kill you.
  7. The Druids need your vote.
  8. London is Better Than Moscow. (but only just)
  9. If the train doesn’t go where you’re going, they just make shit up.
  10. The BBC is biased. Just ask the BBC.

Posted by vanessa on June 18th, 2007 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff, Stuff On My Mind | No Comments »

Missing Seattle - Mostly

Some days are harder than others to be away from home with no end in sight. At least I’m in a warm house in England and not in a tent in the desert with sand in my crack dodging IED’s.

Things I Miss About Seattle: (in no particular order)

  1. Nordstrom
  2. Mexican Food - there are a few Mexican restaurants in the UK, but they don’t serve any actual Mexican food. Compared to San Diego, Mexican food in Seattle sucks a big fat one. But, compared to England, Sea-Mex is one step away from freakin’ Ixtapa.
  3. My Louis Vuitton Epi Noe - what idiot leaves that in storage?
  4. 24/7 shopping (being able to get what I want, when I want it, especially on Sundays.)
  5. Window Screens
  6. Monique - brazilian waxtrix extraordinaire
  7. The Mariners from prior to and including the 2001 season
  8. Smoke-Free Everything
  9. Tumble Dryers
  10. My King Size Select Comfort Sleep Number Bed (Oy!)
  11. Bar-B-Q - anyone coming to London who would like to stop at Dixie’s on the way to the airport will be richly rewarded - and yes, I need to meet “The Man.” But I’d settle for a bottle of Tony Roma’s Carolina Honey sauce.
  12. Customer Service - a concept not yet adopted inside the United Kingdom
  13. Anything in a American Handy Economy Size
  14. Public Trash Receptacles
  15. Driving - anywhere. Don’t say the word “roundabout” in my presence or I may hurt you. “Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament. (repeat)”

Things I Don’t Miss About Seattle:

  1. Rain - how can I miss it? I’m in freakin’ London
  2. Talk Radio
  3. Seafair - never did feel the love for hydro races
  4. The Convergence Zone
  5. Ferry Queues On A Holiday Weekend
  6. Value Village
  7. Freeway Off-Ramp Panhandlers
  8. Experience Music Project - Exterior - bite me, Gehry, you sadistic asshole.
  9. Dick’s - I know it’s heresy, but they just do NOT do it for me - take me to Red Mill or Fatburger
  10. Blake Lewis
  11. Any discussion about the Viaduct, Monorail, Light Rail, or the future of Boeing Field
  12. The Mariners from 2002 to present
  13. “..So Don’t Be Laaaate, Do The Puyallup”
  14. Tim Eyman
  15. Driving - during rush hour; while it’s raining; on 1/2 inch of snow; or behind anyone from B.C.

I know, I’ll be home soon enough. I’m just having a Bar-B-Q-less, Customer-Service-Impaired, Desperately-Seeking-Brazilian-Wax kind of day. :cry:

Posted by vanessa on May 19th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Lists of Stuff | 3 Comments »

5 More Googles That Brought You Here

Pert

  1. What Makes Pussy Taste Good
  2. Pics Of Vannessa (sic) Being A Slut (Oi!)
  3. Wild Monkey Dildo
  4. Circumcised By Girlfriend (WTF!?)
  5. “man with two penises” -removed (o.m.f.g.) 8O

I love website stats.

Just remember, there’s always somebody watching.

Posted by vanessa on May 13th, 2007 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Lists of Stuff | 1 Comment »

5 kinda cool things about living in England

  1. The mail service - Royal Mail (post it today, it’s there tomorrow)
  2. Cottage pie
  3. The age of consent is sixteen. Sixteen.
  4. Müller Rice - Vanilla Custard flavor. omigod.
  5. When you order tea with milk in a restaurant, the server will NOT return with either: a) a pitcher of half & half; b) a full glass of milk; c) packets of non-dairy creamer

Posted by vanessa on January 16th, 2007 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | 2 Comments »

Things People Googled That (Somehow) Led Them To My Website

  • spencers baggies
  • creepy street names
  • sexy circumcision scars
  • humped zebra crossing
  • hindu guys have foreskin
  • kevlar athletic cups
  • world record tiniest pencil

Posted by vanessa on September 9th, 2006 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | No Comments »

5 Kinda Creepy Street Signs I’ve Seen In England

1.  "Humped Zebra Crossing"
2.  "Look Right"
3.  "Faggotts Close"
4.  "Humps for 450 Yards"
5.  "COSTCO Entrance "

Posted by vanessa on July 28th, 2006 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | 2 Comments »

Stranger In A Strange Land

England is beautiful - looks quite a bit like Seattle. I still haven’t decided whether I could live here, but I’ve started a list of pros and cons.

Pro: Just about everyone here has a gorgeous English accent, which keeps me perpetually moist.
Con: The humidity has been fairly steady at about 85%, which keeps me perpetually moist.

Pro: Healthcare is free to all UK residents.
Con: Paperback books cost about US $15 and gas is US $7.50-8.00/gallon.

Pro: Indian food is widely available and delicious.
Con: I found hamburgers in a tin. Hamburgers. In. A. Tin.

I still have four more weeks here, so I’m sure I’ll be adding to my list…

Posted by vanessa on July 13th, 2006 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Lists of Stuff | No Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

vanessa@talktovanessa.com

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.