Archive for the 'Random stuff' Category

Slogging Through The Summer Slush

Just a few headlines I found interesting today:

Thank You, Captain Obvious: Rock stars more likely to die prematurely

I was nowhere NEAR there, I swear! Crazy Fan Attacks Brad in Italy

And they said a little Shakespeare never hurt anyone: Three hurt as stray buffalo runs onto road

OMG i h8 u! u r sofa king unkewl! AT&T to let parents limit kids’ cell calls

If it were New York, they’d need the National Guard. But it’s London. So everyone just queued. Most of London’s subway shuts down

“Unexpected Item In Bag”: Man takes pry bar to self-check till Dude, I feel your pain

Posted by vanessa on September 4th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff | No Comments »

HNT - The Ribeye Incident

burnOK, so here is the aftermath:

Now, at first glance, it doesn’t seem like much…a teeny little mark on my right foot.

It’s not that bad, really. A little burn.

How did I get it? Now there’s the story.

All I wanted was a good steak. It had been a while since I had one, and I thought I would make one for myself. I carefully made all the necessary preparations. Got myself a ribeye steak. Not the best cut, granted, but beef here in the UK is freakin’ expensive.  Anyway, ribeye.  Tesco’s finest. Aged 27 days. Seasoned, lovely, ready for the grill.

At this point, you’re thinking “ah, grease splatter.” Nope. Read on.

Steak in broiler. Smells wonderful. Almost ready to turn over.

Then, BOOM.

The fucker exploded.

No, not the steak.


Seriously. It blew the hell up. Rainshower of :scare: safety :scare2: glass over the kitchen. One piece actually melted the floor. One piece hit my foot, which resulted in the aforementioned burn.

Mr. Vanessa, vegan, did not fail to point out the irony.

Steak and oven are a total loss.

I’m grieving over the steak.


Posted by vanessa on August 16th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Pics of Me | 4 Comments »

Fall’s Sexy Must-Have Accessory

Yes, it’s on the arm of every A-list celebrity, the newest, hottest, gotta-have-one piece of arm candy ever.

What is it?


An Englishman.


Note the way an Englishman complements any wardrobe choice. He’s polite and well-mannered. Clean, well-groomed and unobtrusive. And he doesn’t ever make your ass look fat.

The Englishman is becoming the hottest thing to hit the red carpet this season, and due to all the publicity around Posh and Becks, it’s only gonna get hotter. Don’t wait - get yours before they’re all gone!

I got mine already.

He’s very sexy.

Funny, with a very quick wit.



And all mine, girls, so back off!

Yep, all mine.

Posted by vanessa on July 13th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff | No Comments »

America Will Never Be The Same

The latest copy of W magazine has some of the most unbelievably sexy shots of David and Victoria Beckham, also known as Posh and Becks, to herald their move to Los Angeles.

I never gave D.B. a second glance before. But this shows just what a great photographer and many hours of Photoshop can do:

p5I’m pretty sure the LA Galaxy soccer team is behind a lot of the publicity. After all, they need to justify their investment. Plus, they need to make 99% of America aware that there is this sport in other countries where they kick around a little ball and aren’t allowed to use their hands.

Now, these shots just might make me want to care about American soccer. And make me want Becks to use his hands. A LOT.

In fact, I doubt I’ll be the only person watching with one hand on the remote control and the other on my dildo.

Yum. Does it get any sexier than this?

Oh hell yeah.


The most amazing shots are in what appears to be a very intimate boudoir setting.


Ooooohhhhhhhhh. **shudder**

D’ya think the rest of the Galaxy are gonna be giving him some serious ribbing over the pretty-boy shots? He can bet his tighty-whities on it.

I have no idea whether David Beckham can save American Football Soccer. I am pretty sure, however, that Beckham is totally unprepared for America. And America is unprepared for him. This should be fun to watch.

And I can’t wait to get my copy of W.

Posted by vanessa on July 12th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Random stuff | 1 Comment »

Computer Woes

Yes, I’m still here…but my laptop isn’t.  Video adapter is dead.  Which really sucks if you have a laptop.

All my data, including all the great antique erotic photos, my sound editing software and Photoshop, remains on my old hard drive to be recovered the hard way.

I was also supposed to post a review of Audacia Ray’s book last week.  It will be forthcoming as soon as I’m back on.
I’ll be back…just as soon as I get this all sorted.  Shouldn’t be long now.  I had to buy a new laptop, unfortunately, but I’m making progress.


Posted by vanessa on June 23rd, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff | No Comments »

Fame Is Inconvenient

MoodyThis is the crappiest time ever to have writer’s block. Audacia Ray’s book, Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet SexplorationNaked On The Internet, dropped this week. I’m quoted in there and my URL is listed as well, which means an increase in traffic to the site. And I got nothin’. Nada. Bupkis.

Mostly it’s because I’m cycling and so I’m moody and restless and feel like crap. That shouldn’t affect my ability to write, but it does. It’s hard to write about sex when you don’t feel like having any. ever. again.

But, this shall pass, as it does every month.

I shall live to fuck write another day!

Dacia has arranged reviews of her book to roll out on various blogs this month…and I’m due to post my review on June 21, but here’s a link where you can get it in the meantime…and I get some candy if you order through this link.


Posted by vanessa on June 6th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Stuff On My Mind | No Comments »

Missing Seattle - Mostly

Some days are harder than others to be away from home with no end in sight. At least I’m in a warm house in England and not in a tent in the desert with sand in my crack dodging IED’s.

Things I Miss About Seattle: (in no particular order)

  1. Nordstrom
  2. Mexican Food - there are a few Mexican restaurants in the UK, but they don’t serve any actual Mexican food. Compared to San Diego, Mexican food in Seattle sucks a big fat one. But, compared to England, Sea-Mex is one step away from freakin’ Ixtapa.
  3. My Louis Vuitton Epi Noe - what idiot leaves that in storage?
  4. 24/7 shopping (being able to get what I want, when I want it, especially on Sundays.)
  5. Window Screens
  6. Monique - brazilian waxtrix extraordinaire
  7. The Mariners from prior to and including the 2001 season
  8. Smoke-Free Everything
  9. Tumble Dryers
  10. My King Size Select Comfort Sleep Number Bed (Oy!)
  11. Bar-B-Q - anyone coming to London who would like to stop at Dixie’s on the way to the airport will be richly rewarded - and yes, I need to meet “The Man.” But I’d settle for a bottle of Tony Roma’s Carolina Honey sauce.
  12. Customer Service - a concept not yet adopted inside the United Kingdom
  13. Anything in a American Handy Economy Size
  14. Public Trash Receptacles
  15. Driving - anywhere. Don’t say the word “roundabout” in my presence or I may hurt you. “Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament. (repeat)”

Things I Don’t Miss About Seattle:

  1. Rain - how can I miss it? I’m in freakin’ London
  2. Talk Radio
  3. Seafair - never did feel the love for hydro races
  4. The Convergence Zone
  5. Ferry Queues On A Holiday Weekend
  6. Value Village
  7. Freeway Off-Ramp Panhandlers
  8. Experience Music Project - Exterior - bite me, Gehry, you sadistic asshole.
  9. Dick’s - I know it’s heresy, but they just do NOT do it for me - take me to Red Mill or Fatburger
  10. Blake Lewis
  11. Any discussion about the Viaduct, Monorail, Light Rail, or the future of Boeing Field
  12. The Mariners from 2002 to present
  13. “..So Don’t Be Laaaate, Do The Puyallup”
  14. Tim Eyman
  15. Driving - during rush hour; while it’s raining; on 1/2 inch of snow; or behind anyone from B.C.

I know, I’ll be home soon enough. I’m just having a Bar-B-Q-less, Customer-Service-Impaired, Desperately-Seeking-Brazilian-Wax kind of day. :cry:

Posted by vanessa on May 19th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Lists of Stuff | 3 Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.