Review: Better Than Chocolate

When EdenFantasys gave me the opportunity to review the Better Than Chocolate I had mixed feelings.  I’ve read some really awesome reviews of the BTC and then some reviews that stated the BTC was alittle lacking in power.  Nevertheless I decided that I should at least try it for myself and see what the fuss is about, so I accepted the offer.

The Better Than Chocolate is a clitoral stimulator made of TPE by a new company called Nomi Tang.  It is controlled with a touch-strip (think like an iPod) and has some variance in vibration levels as well as a few pulsations.

So, let’s cut to the chase here.  The BTC is a sex toy meant to get you off, but it fails miserably.  I turned on the BTC and was slightly hopeful and as level of vibration seemed okay for a low level. . . then I found out it was the highest level.  Yep, it starts out at the top.

Okay, so it’s not too strong, that means it would be great for foreplay right?  Nope.  It’s just damn annoying.  It’s not high enough to get you off, but not nice enough to use for foreplay.  It’s not good enough to use as a warm-up for a long masturbation session either since it frustrates me more than gets me ready for more.

The Better Than Chocolate is waterproof, but I haven’t tried it underwater as I have no bathtub.  I did however use it in the shower, which was not a problem as the battery pack stayed dry, however, the power was still really disappointing.  After a few minutes I got out of the shower and went for my trusty Eroscillator to finish me off since the BTC could not.  The touch strip is set to lock when it senses water, but since shower water is constantly moving it kept constantly changing my setting, which was beyond annoying.

Unless you’re incredibly, incredibly sensitive I would pass this one up.  I’m giving it a one on “vroom” even though Eden Fantasys defines a one as “Very mild, extremely low level of vibration, great for newbies, foreplay and extra sensitive areas.”  I would redefine that as, “Barely good for anything unless you’re really, really sensitive.”  As mentioned above, this is definitely not worthy of being a foreplay toy.

I’m giving it two stars since I think the design showed some effort even though the touch-slide turned out to be more annoying than helpful and the overall shape is a little clunky.  Unless you really want to spend way too much money ($80) on a toy that’s only going to sit on your dresser and look pretty invest in something more useful like the Fun Factory LayaSpot (for around $47) which I’ve had for way over a year and it still works great.

product picture
Clitoral vibrator by Nomi Tang
Material: Non-porous TPR
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Review: Intimate Organics Cocoa Bean & Goji Berry Aromatherapy Massage Oil

Intimate Organics is a company I’ve had a love-hate relationship with even before trying out any of their products.  I loved the fact that they have scents that are unusual – like cocoa bean & goji berry instead of the regular vanilla or cinnamon – but hated the fact that they called themselves “organic” when the only organic ingredients in their products are the essential oils.  However, I can get past that since I’m not consuming the massage oil.  So when PinkCherry.com offered me the chance to review some I grabbed it up with glee.

I know some people think as we get older our preference in smells is supposed to mature, but I still like anything that smells like candy and the IO massage oil definitely does.  I had a preview of what the scent was going to smell like as I received the matching body soufflé from the lovely Wilhelmina Wang the day before, so I already knew I was going to love it.  You know the raspberry hot chocolate mix you liked when you were a kid?  It smells exactly like that, which is beyond awesome.

But obviously you don’t just want to sit around smelling the stuff, so I’ll tell you how it works.  How does it work in a nutshell?  Amazingly well.  The main three oils it’s made up of are sweet almond oil, sunflower oil and coconut oil, all of which have great moisturizing properties and absorb into the skin well.  This does mean that your skin or the skin of whoever is receiving the massage won’t feel as slippery as it would with different, less absorbent oils, but it will be slick enough to provide some glide.

For a short, 10 minute massage I used about 1/2 a teaspoon on my partner’s back.  It absorbed after that, so if you’re wanting to do a longer massage I would suggest reapplying when it starts to absorb too much.  If you just dump a ton on the person to start with it will be messy, so start with around a 1/2 teaspoon and build from there.  It’s better to use less rather than more since you want the bottle to last as long as possible.

Overall, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this product to anyone who likes sweet smells and wonderfully moisturized skin.  It’s a little pricey, but in my opinion it’s totally worth the extra couple of dollars for a sweet smelling luxurious massage.

Thank you so much to the wonderful people at PinkCherry.com for letting me review this massage oil.  Are you in Canada and still want to order some?  Go to PinkCherry.ca!

 

Review: Naughty Boy

I ordered the Naughty Boy almost on a whim right after my boyfriend expressed that he liked the feeling of me using my LELO Mia around his asshole.  I figured, “This is my chance!”  He said he was open to the idea, but wanted to make sure whatever we got was not too big.  Enter Naughty Boy.  After a brief conversation with anal toy guru Jimbo Jones, the Naughty Boy was in my cart, purchased and coming for my boyfriend’s asshole via USPS.

The Rocks Off Naughty Boy is made of 100% silicone with a removable bullet vibe.  Because it’s silicone you shouldn’t use silicone based lubricant with the Naughty Boy as it can erode the pretty, velvety texture of the toy.  The great thing about silicone is that it’s hypoallergenic and also can be sterilized, which is something I find to be required for an anal toy.  Just make sure you remove the bullet first if you’re going to put in into boiling water or the dishwasher.

The bullet has the option of replacing the battery so that your toy can last a lifetime.  Also, Rocks Off sells replaceable bullets, but I have not seen them online yet.   The batteries can easily be found at a battery store or even WalMart and are cheap enough that you won’t be complaining every time you have to replace the batteries.

The silicone does have a slight seam running up the toy, but it is not a hindrance.  If you have or have seen the LELO Ella, it is about the same size of seam.  Neither of us complained about the seam because we couldn’t feel it.

When the Naughty Boy got to my house, I got so excited that we almost forgot that we had to let out the neighbor’s dog that day!  We ran into the house and put the Naughty Boy to work.  After warming up my boyfriend a little bit with some oral then added copious amounts of lube to both his ass and the Naughty Boy and inserted it. Insertion was a slow process and we finally had to stop before the bump in the toy because his ass wasn’t ready for that yet and we didn’t want to strain any muscles.  After some oral combined with the Naughty Boy he experienced the longest orgasm of his life.  It was actually a big shock because it was nearing a whole minute!

I tried the Naughty Boy vaginally for a bit, but the size is too small to provide enough stimulation for me and the vibrations don’t carry that well vaginally.  I have yet to try it in my ass, but that is definitely on our to-do list.

Overall I would recommend the Naughty Boy to anyone new to anal play and prostate play.  It’s very unintimidating and easy to use, as well as easy to clean and care for.  Get your own Naughty Boy at EdenFantasys!

Review: Tantus Ripple Small

When I saw the small Tantus Ripple was a free product of the week on Naughty and Discreet, I knew I had to have it.  I’m more advanced in anal play and also don’t like thrusting, but my boyfriend has quite the reluctant ass, so I needed the smallest thing I could get that wasn’t the same size as my finger.  The Ripple was obviously the perfect choice.

I got the Ripple in the mail in a very timely manner, for which I truly applaud Naughty and Discreet – my mail usually doesn’t come that fast, ever.  I showed the Ripple to the boyfriend and his first response was, “Oh god, bumps.”  He was really scared that they were going to hurt, but I insisted that it was small enough that it would be just fine.

The Ripple itself only goes up to 1” diameter at its widest point while the starting point of the Ripple is about the size of my pinky finger (I wear a ring size 5, if that helps you visualize).  The Ripple is made of 100% silicone and is from Tantus, so you know it will be a quality product.  Tantus silicone is usually towards the firm end of the silicone spectrum, which is why many people (myself included) love it.  However, because the Ripple is so small in diameter, the silicone is rather squishy.  You will have to grip it in a couple of places to get it to glide into your ass at first, since just pushing from the base will only cause it to double over.

<obviously necessary “Hi, Tantus. I love you” rave>

For those of you not acquainted with the awesomeness that is Tantus, I’ll provide you with the most biased introduction ever.  Yes, biased.  I love them and I can’t hide it, so why bother trying?

Tantus is a small company based in California that makes 100% silicone toys and also has a small line of aluminum toys called Alumina, which I would love to get my hands on.  I have only 3 Tantus toys so far and I couldn’t me more impressed.  Their silicone has an awesome firm quality that I have grown to love, but it also has enough give to be comfortable.  Even though other companies are said to have more “life-like” silicone, to me Tantus has the same firmness as a hard cock.  I know this can be argued, so I’ll leave it to you to find out by buying something awesome from them.

Tantus also has an awesome woman president who is easily contacted on Facebook and Twitter to answer questions.  She’s incredibly friendly and wonderful.

</obviously necessary “Hi, Tantus. I love you” rave>

Overall, my partner really liked the Ripple as an ass toy.  While he said it’s definitely not as stimulating to his prostate as other toys we’ve tried, it does have a more manageable size for him so he can relax knowing that it’s not going to hurt.  We only got it inserted up to the last bump, but hey, where’s the fun if you can instantly shove anything in your ass that you desire?  Okay, yeah, that would be fun.  I lied.  But it’s not like that for everyone and that’s okay.

As far as cleaning the Ripple, I’m sure you know the drill, but if you don’t I’ll lay it out for you again.  I really recommend sanitizing ass toys between uses every time.  You can do this by boiling it for a few minutes, putting it in the top rack of your dishwasher with no soap for a cycle or you can wipe it down with a 1 part bleach, 9 parts water solution.

Overall, if you have a scared ass, or someone you know does, do yourself a favor and buy the Tantus Ripple – it’s unintimidating and is a great introduction to anal play.  You can get your own over at Naughty and Discreet.

Review: Tantus Goddess

Picking a toy for my first review for Vibrator.com was a hard choice.  There are so many good things out there.  But, I decided to stay to something tried and true – Tantus silicone.  I ended up getting the Tantus Goddess for review and I will say I’m not disappointed.

For those of you that haven’t heard of Tantus, then you’re missing out.  Tantus makes only 100% premium silicone toys and they manufacture right here in the United States.  They hand-pour every single toy and lovingly etch the name “Tantus” by hand on the base.  Each toy is unique because no toy will have the exact same marble pattern from when the silicone was poured or the exact same etching on the base.  To top that off, Tantus silicone is some of the best out there.  It’s not matte and velvety like some, but it’s slick and firm which is how a nice silicone should be.  It has just enough give to be comfortable while it’s firm enough to hold its shape.

The Tantus Goddess is one of the many amazing vibrators that Tantus offers.  Tantus vibrators are made up of a 100% silicone dildo which has an opening in the base to insert a bullet vibrator.  Tantus sends a moderately strong silver bullet for this purpose, but if you happen to have a favorite bullet vibrator that you’d rather use in the base (RO-80MM, anyone?) then it should fit as long as it’s not thicker than a standard silver bullet.

The Goddess is also harness-compatible because of the flared base.  However, the flare is small, so you will need to find an appropriate sized o-ring in order to use the Goddess securely in the harness of your choice.  Also because of the flare the Goddess can be used anally.  If you plan to use it anally make sure you’re comfortable with texture in your anal toys since the Goddess is completely full of it.  This is definitely not a toy to be used anally by someone who is new to anal play.

Since I’m not too advanced in anal play and don’t want texture anally, I only used this toy vaginally.  Vaginally the Goddess shines.  The texture can be felt on every inch of the toy.  And I. love. texture.  If you’re a fellow texture lover, or even texture whore like some – this toy is going to become one of your best friends.  However, if you’re not sure if you like texture this would be a great halfway point.  It’s not the Tantus Silk, but it’s also not as textured as something like the Tantus Echo.

When you want to clean the Goddess just wipe down the bullet with a toy wipe or a little soap and warm water on a cloth.  To clean the dildo itself, you can either wash it with mild soap and water, boil it on the stove or run it through the dishwasher without soap in the top rack.

I usually prefer to remove the bullet and use it on my clit while using the Goddess as a dildo, but this is because internal vibrations I’ve found don’t really do much for me.  I much prefer a nice, steady thrusting motion and pressure applied to my g-spot.  What I’m getting at is no matter if you like vibration internally or not, need clit stimulation or not, whatever you may need – the Tantus Goddess can probably provide it.

Want to look for more awesome Tantus vibrators?  Head over to the vibrating dildos section on Vibrator.com.

Thanks so much to the awesome people over at Vibrator.com for sending me the Tantus Goddess to review!  You guys are truly wonderful!

heard of Tantus, then you’re missing out.  Tantus makes only 100% premium silicone toys and they manufacture right here in the United States.  They hand-pour every single toy and lovingly etch the name “Tantus” by hand on the base.  Each toy is unique because no toy will have the exact same marble pattern from when the silicone was poured or the exact same etching on the base.  To top that off, Tantus silicone is some of the best out there.  It’s not matte and velvety like some, but it’s slick and firm which is how a nice silicone should be.  It has just enough give to be comfortable while it’s firm enough to hold its shape.

The Tantus Goddess is one of the many amazing vibrators that Tantus offers.  Tantus vibrators are made up of a 100% silicone dildo which has an opening in the base to insert a bullet vibrator.  Tantus sends a moderately strong silver bullet for this purpose, but if you happen to have a favorite bullet vibrator that you’d rather use in the base (RO-80MM, anyone?) then it should fit as long as it’s not thicker than a standard silver bullet.

The Goddess is also harness-compatible because of the flared base.  However, the flare is small, so you will need to find an appropriate sized o-ring in order to use the Goddess securely in the harness of your choice.  Also because of the flare the Goddess can be used anally.  If you plan to use it anally make sure you’re comfortable with texture in your anal toys since the Goddess is completely full of it.  This is definitely not a toy to be used anally by someone who is new to anal play.

Since I’m not too advanced in anal play and don’t want texture anally, I only used this toy vaginally.  Vaginally the Goddess shines.  The texture can be felt on every inch of the toy.  And I. love. texture.  If you’re a fellow texture lover, or even texture whore like some – this toy is going to become one of your best friends.  However, if you’re not sure if you like texture this would be a great halfway point.  It’s not the Tantus Silk, but it’s also not as textured as something like the Tantus Echo.

When you want to clean the Goddess just wipe down the bullet with a toy wipe or a little soap and warm water on a cloth.  To clean the dildo itself, you can either wash it with mild soap and water, boil it on the stove or run it through the dishwasher without soap in the top rack.

I usually prefer to remove the bullet and use it on my clit while using the Goddess as a dildo, but this is because internal vibrations I’ve found don’t really do much for me.  I much prefer a nice, steady thrusting motion and pressure applied to my g-spot.  What I’m getting at is no matter if you like vibration internally or not, need clit stimulation or not, whatever you may need – the Tantus Goddess can probably provide it.

Want to look for more awesome Tantus vibrators?  Head over to the vibrating dildos section on Vibrator.com.

Thanks so much to the awesome people over at Vibrator.com for sending me the Tantus Goddess to review!  You guys are truly wonderful!

Review: Reign of Tera 3

Before I get into the review itself, I’d like to talk a little about the postal service. Apparently they think anything sent in a padded envelope is meant for destruction, because when my DVD arrived the packaging well torn to shreds. I would suggest that EF start sending their DVDs in a bubble envelope rather than the thick multi-layered paper ones they use. I hate plastic as much as anyone else and recycle almost everything, but if this were a DVD I really wanted and I had purchased I would be irritated that it arrived this way. The rest of the plastic pieces were floating around inside the case along with the DVD itself that had become dislodged from its place during shipping.

Now for the review – I really wish that the opening credits on Reign of Tera 3 were set up in a better manner. Since I’m not familiar with what all of the 13 actresses look like, it’s going to be near impossible for me to name who is in each scene. Also, there is not mention of the male actors in the credits. This definitely is a negative since male actors do matter to me when looking for something I’d like to watch. When looking at the small print on the front of the box you can see that the male actors are Spyder Jonez, Tommy Gunn, Scott Nails, Jack Lawrence and Jerry Alec Knight. As soon as I read the male actors I had a big “Oh fuck no.” moment since I have only heard of Tommy Gunn and Scott Nails and don’t really like either one of them. Also, as soon as the opening credits roll you can see a man who I’m sure nobody on this earth would like to see naked. I would later find out that this was Spyder Jonez, the director of the film.

For the scenes I will attempt to look up the names and match with the faces of the actresses in order to tell you who is in each scene.

In the first scene we have Jack Lawrence and who I believe to be Michelle Maylene according to IAFD. From the very first scene I determined that this movie is attempting to have a plot. The acting is bad enough that I had to look up the plot to see what was going on – apparently someone is trying to overthrow Tera’s “reign” in the “Asian Love Palace. (Yes, Asian Love Palace, I kid you not.)

Jack Lawrence gets sent into Tera’s office and there is no lead up to anything, just Jack starts going at it. And not in a good way like everyone’s favorite Frenchman, but in an awkward “I totally don’t want to be here, but they’re paying me to so let’s get at it” kind of way. Yeah, not hot. The girl’s facial expressions coupled with Jack’s cock never getting fully hard makes for a bummer of a scene:

The next scene is Tera Patrick and Spyder Jonez. As I said before, Spyder Jonez is not someone you would ever want to see naked. I don’t expect porn actors to look like models by any means, but when they look like a, according to my boyfriend, constipated walrus, it’s just not something I’m going to want to see. Looking past Spyder’s appearance, the scene still lacks, well, everything. It starts out with Spyder fingering Tera’s ass and making her lick it. Honestly, I’m usually fine with anal play in films, but this is just rather gross since he keeps repeatedly spitting on her ass. You can see the spit droplets in the screen shot. You can tell neither one of them wants to be doing it.

After the ass fingering is over, the ass fucking begins. I don’t hate this, but it’s not inspiring and it doesn’t really turn me on. At least it doesn’t totally turn my stomach. Spyder then starts touching Tera’s clit. Rubbing nicely isn’t quite the right phrase, he more or less pulls back her clitoral hood and pokes at her clit. This sounds ways less than pleasant to me.

Then we get the ending. . .a watery cumshot that looks more like 7-Up than come.

If you’re still not convinced, this is the film that gave birth to the name “constipated walrus.” I sadly wouldn’t recommend this scene to my worst enemy.

The next scene is what I call a gay-for-pay lesbian orgy with 9 of the girls. It starts out with them all throwing rose petals at each other and towards the camera. This basically sets the mood. The flower throwing seems to go on and on and I honestly think it would be boring even for a guy who just wants anything at all to help him get off. After the flowers it switches to boob licking – I don’t say sucking because they honestly seem scared of nipples. Include some nasty-looking double-ended dildos and some cheap panty-style strap-ons and you’ve got the scene.

The last scene is no better than the rest and doesn’t have any good highlights. Honestly, I wouldn’t wish this porn on my worst enemy. I think everyone should have the right to a well-made porn and not have to watch complete crap.

However, if something in my review made you interested in this, you can find it over at EdenFantasys by clicking the link below.

$21.99Reign of Tera 3
DVD by Vivid
Cast: Lucy Thai, Nautica Thorn, Jade Hsu, Mika Tan
Dvd feature: Web site access, Chapter Selections, Interactive Menus
Buy from EdenFantasys
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Review: Blacklight Beauty

When I saw the cover of Blacklight Beauty I was immediately drawn in and thought, “I have to have that.”  Unlike some covers that have a random blonde girl on the cover showing you her pussy, Blacklight Beauty’s cover is stylish and almost puts you in an erotic trance even though the film hasn’t even started.

The beginning of the film starts out kind of slow for my tastes, but I’ve never been one for teasing and looking at the performers in clothing before the scene. I’m more into wall-to-wall sex in my porn. But if you like a nice tease beforehand, you’ll really enjoy the beginning of the scenes. After that it quickly improves with hot scenes and one of the best porn soundtracks I have ever heard. I’m usually not a fan of music in my porn, but if it has to be there, this is the music it should be. It doesn’t take away from the scene at all, but rather, it enhances the mood of the film.

Sitting through all 10 scenes (yes, 10) was neither challenging nor a chore, but I did find one of the latter scenes, which includes clown sex, to not be my cup of tea. If the performer had not been wearing the clown mask however, it may have been one of my favorite scenes. I’ve decided not to do a breakdown scene by scene as covering all 10 would be a bit challenging and also probably put you to sleep. However, I will list some of the best scenes with a short description of why.

1) James Deen and Riley Mason: I may like this scene the best overall since it’s the one I usually watch first, or sometimes it’s the only one I watch. It has no music, which for me is a plus because you get to hear the actors’ voices more clearly. But mainly, let’s face it, James is hot for a porn guy and Riley is adorable as hell. She also has on fun purple PVC boots with black stars on them.

2) Joanna Angel and the Clown Guy: Yes, there’s a clown. Yes, it’s creepy. But I like Joanna so much that I don’t really care. You can tell she’s into what she’s doing and that for me makes any scene so much better.

3) Allie Sin and two random guys: I usually hate blowjob scenes, but this one is an exception. The trance-like music gives it a more artistic appeal than a traditional mainstream blowjob scene.

Although the style of the film is unique, I could see some getting annoyed with the constant color-tinting (ex. A scene will look entirely washed in purple or green, etc.) and flashing to black & white and back again. While this annoyed me a little bit at times, mostly it was just entertaining and helped Blacklight Beauty to stand out from some other films I have seen.

Attention blowjob lovers: This film is full of them. And I do mean full. There are blowjobs in almost every scene and a couple that only feature and actresses sucking multiple guys’ cocks at once. And oddly, I like them. One scene is shot with Faith and multiple men only lit by a flashlight. While it doesn’t give that highly-produced feel some like, it does make you feel more like you are there or that the scene could have actually happened.

This film was very hard to review, but in closing, if you like alternative porn and are up for a trance-like soundtrack give this one a try. The cast is great and it will definitely break you out of the mainstream porn rut.

 

$25.99Blacklight Beauty
DVD by Pulse Pictures
Cast: Mr. Pete, Taryn Thomas, Riley Mason, James Deen
Director: JackTheZipper
Buy from EdenFantasys
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Review: Hathor Body Exotic Love Oil

Exotic Love Oil is made by Hathor Body, a Canadian company run by a mother and daughter duo who have a passion for aromatherapy, herbology and massage. Upon receiving the Exotic Love Oil for review, I decided to do some more investigation about Hathor Body as I had not heard of the company before. Their entire line consists of lubricants, lotions, oil and lickable products. All of their products are formulated with natural and vegan ingredients. They also pride themselves in using organic ingredients when possible.

I was very excited to open and smell the oil as the ingredients really sounded wonderful. The oil base is pecan, which I found interesting since most nut-based massage oils are based in almond. The essential oils are ylang ylang, cedarwood, geranium, cinnamon and ginger, as well as a healthy dose of vitamin E to make your skin soft (and to minimize scars if you happen to have any!). Well, wanting to smell it was the right thing, because it smells heavenly! It’s very earthy and even a bit herbal, but with a hint of spice from the cinnamon and ginger. If you like natural smelling products rather than products with artificial scents (think green apple and strawberry) this is totally the product for you. Imagine walking into a marketplace somewhere in Asia and smelling all of the spices, wooden handcrafted bowls and fresh flowers for sale. Now imagine that scent all compacted into a 4 ounce bottle – yeah, it’s pretty fabulous.

The packaging of the bottle itself is minimalist, but I like it. It’s a basic apothecary deep blue glass bottle with a black screw on cap and the golden label common to all Hathor Body products. It lists the ingredients as well as touts the skin smoothing benefits of the oil. At the bottom of the bottle is also the tagline “All we need is love.” I personally think they should change it to “All we need is love and 100,000 bottles of Exotic Love Oil.”

And now the good stuff! We decided to put the oil to use and my boyfriend gave me a massage after my long day in classes. He used about a teaspoon of the oil for my entire body. He did mention to me afterwards that he thinks he could use less and it would work just as well, so that is something to keep in mind. It smoothed on like silk and made his hands glide gracefully all over my body. The smell instantly filled the room and made me relax even more. The oil stayed slick and never greasy through the entire 45 minute massage. I felt pampered instead of like a squeaky door hinge smothered in WD-40, which some oils in the past have done to me. The oil absorbed into my skin by the end and left it soft and smooth. I didn’t have to shower at all and my boyfriend didn’t have to wash his hands off. I’m currently sitting here and touching my back constantly to feel how smooth and moisturized it feels! I also still smell like a heavenly, spice filled paradise. A massage with this oil works better than any moisturizer I have tried, and trust me, I’ve tried a ton.

I couldn’t recommend this product more. It’s amazing and definitely worth the price. If you don’t have this in your cart on EdenFantasys yet, you’re making a big mistake.

Review: Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo Uno

I’ve been putting off writing this review for quite a while because there are so many reviews on vaginal balls and I’m just not sure what to say.  Also, being my first kegel exerciser, I’m not experienced enough to provide the insight that some reviewers have.  Nevertheless, I’ve decided to review them and give you my opinion, however inexperienced it may be.

I had been looking for kegel exercisers for quite some time because my pelvic floor muscles are exceptionally weak.  I can’t flex and hold them for any time at all, not to mention the 3 grueling seconds mentioned in many kegel exercise regimens.  I chose the Fun Factory Smartballs teneouno for a variety of reasons.  Firstly, they’re silicone, so they’re superior to the old Smartballs and other vaginal ball exercisers.  I like that they can be sanitized, although since it’s just me using them, I doubt this will be something I’ll do.  Secondly, in the teneouno there is just one vaginal ball.  I’d heard that the original balls were too long for some people’s anatomy; I wasn’t sure if my anatomy was shorter, but I wasn’t going to take a chance on buying something I potentially couldn’t use.

Upon insertion they’re pretty damn comfortable.  My vagina didn’t start bitching about something not being right in there, so I’m taking that as a good sign.  It actually is just like when I put in my Diva Cup, comfortable as hell and I can barely feel it.  However, the not feeling it really is also the part I’m disappointed in.

Smartballs are meant to be stimulating, at least mildly, while being worn and walking around.  The teneouno, although very nice, is not very stimulating at all.  I wasn’t expecting it to be like having a Hitachi in my vagina, but I wanted them to be felt.  I’m assuming the teneoduo or the original Smartballs would have more of this effect.

Removal is something with which beginning users may have trouble.  Although there is a silicone retrieval string, it is very thin and I am afraid putting too much pressure on it may cause it to snap.  Therefore, it’s best to bear down and push the ball out of your vagina until you can get a grip on the base of the strings to help it out.  This should sound very familiar is you use a Diva Cup or any menstrual cup – they all have to be pushed out slightly with the vaginal muscles.  For those who haven’t had to do this, it’s like pooping only with your vagina instead of your ass.

I haven’t used them enough to notice any strengthening of my PC muscles, but they do give you something to clench while doing your daily kegels.  Overall, I would recommend the teneouno if you are looking for some beginning vaginal balls to help you out with your kegel exercises.  They’re definitely going to get some use.

product picture
Vaginal balls by Fun Factory
Material: Silicone
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:

Review: Astroglide glycerin and paraben free

So I’ve been putting off writing this review because, well, there’s really not much to say.  I ordered a bottle of Astroglide glycerin and paraben free mainly to use with my Diva Cup when I have to put it in at school.

If there is one thing that Astroglide got right on this one, it’s the bottle.  Coming in at only 2.5 ounces, it is the perfect size to put into your purse or bag, and is also small enough to take in your carry-on when flying!  The top on the bottle is a flip top which is very secure, so you won’t have to worry about it leaking all over your new shoes, etc.  So far I’ve carried it in my bag once and found no issues.  It’s big enough to find when you need it, even if you happen to carry one of those one-pocket-catches-all totes, and small enough to not take up much room and not scream, “Hi! [Insert name here] has lube in his/her bag!”

Since it is glycerin and paraben free you are less likely to get a UTI or a yeast infection from its use.  However, there is a small problem with this lube – its smell.  It smells a little bit chemically, which I find odd seeing as how it’s glycerin and paraben free.  Isn’t it supposed to be less chemically smelling?  I wish it was more like Toyfluid in the sense that it doesn’t smell at all.

Also, even though it’s glycerin free, it still gets that sticky feeling to it after a couple of minutes like sugary lubes do.  Also, it dries up after about 5 minutes, making reapplication necessary frequently.  This makes me wonder if this lube is actually any better than some of the glycerin containing lubes.  Have they replaced glycerin with something equally sticky and bad for you?  Since I’m not an expert on lubes, I can’t tell which of the ingredients are good and which aren’t, but I’m hoping that’s not the case.

All in all I give it a 2/5.  I’ll probably be keeping this in my purse to put in my Diva Cup and out of the bedroom.