Archive for the 'Sexy Stuff' Category

Toy Review: The Eroscillator

Friends, lovers, playmates; in honor of May being Masturbation Month, I give you The Eroscillator.

**trumpet fanfare**

ooohhhhLet me start off by saying that it’s taken me six months to write this review. That’s not because I haven’t wanted to. It’s because I’ve been doing…um…extensive research. In the name of journalistic integrity, of course. In fact, the Eroscillator has been the most rigorously tested of any toy I’ve reviewed.

Dr. Ruth has never endorsed another sensual aid, but she is the Eroscillator celebrity endorse-person. That got my attention. I had to try it. So, the Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo was my Xmas prezzie.

Admittedly, when I saw this puppy my first thought was, dayyumm, that’s one expensive vibrator! Are the reviews true? Could it really be worth it?

Oh yes. Every freakin’ penny. Read on.

First of all, the Eroscillator is NOT a vibrator. A vibrator vibrates. A vibrator feels nice for a while, but eventually makes my clit numb. When my clit is numb, well, I’m done for the night. I might not want to be done but, Goodnight, Irene. I. Am. Finished.

Smart Oscillating Engine. The Eroscillator uses sophisticated Swiss engineering to oscillate back and forth inside the housing for powerful but gentle stimulation. It doesn’t vibrate. It doesn’t make my clit numb. That’s a big deal. Huge. Limitless-Orgasms-Huge. And, the head moves inside the housing, so the housing stays put. I’m stimulating my punani, not my hand.

Multiple Power Settings. One critical distinction is that the speeds don’t increase the frequency of the movement…they increase the intensity. That means every speed is enjoyable. I can’t say that about something like the Hitachi Magic Wand. (Actually, the HMW is just a half-step down from a belt sander. Not clit-friendly.) The Eroscillator’s three speeds are powered by a 14v motor (step-down converted so it’s safer for you) and 12-feet of cord. Yes, you read that right. 12 feet. It will reach to the chandeliers. Hell, I can plug this baby in and take it halfway to Marks & Spencer. What I’m trying to say is that the cord doesn’t get in the way when we’re gettin’ our freak on.

Whisper Quiet. Yeah, it really is. We were pleasantly surprised. No distracting lawnmower buzzing during the intimate moments. My apologies if you have a lawnmower fetish.

Watertight. Can be washed under running water so you’re ready to go for next time. I wouldn’t take it in the bath, though. (That’s why God created the WaterPik Shower MassageWaterpik Shower Massage.)

So, on to my experience. Right out of the box, I had one of the fastest, most intense orgasms of my life. It took about 90 seconds, tops. My lips (on my face) were literally quivering. This was a whole different level of orgasm. Like a higher plane of consciousness. Incredible. Then I just kept on going…er…coming. Actually, I didn’t know whether I was coming OR going. One after another after another. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to stop until I was spent. When it was over, I was but a whimper on a tangled heap of soaked sheets.

The next day, I threw my other vibrators out.

The Eroscillator comes in your choice of two versions and five packages. The Eroscillator 2 Plus packages come with some basic head attachments and a standard power appliance. The Top Deluxe model has extra power, for women like me who need a little boost, and more attachments. All attachments are available separately too. I was lucky enough to get the Ultimate Combo. Yep, I got the whole enchilada for my pink taco. Holy guacamole!!

My favorite attachment? The Ultra Soft Finger Tip (pictured below). It’s a medical grade silicone elastomer…just the right amount of squishiness to give a really lovely clit licking.

This is one toy that gets my unequivocal yes. Yes. GOD, YES!

Rating: ★★★★★+

If you own a clitoris, you simply must treat yourself. I can’t stress this enough. If your partner has one, surprise her and make her decade. You won’t regret it.

Oh, you can support this site by ordering it through my affiliate link below and Amazon will gimme some candy!

I’m hearing rumors about their companion product for men, the Ooh-la-la! Prostate Massager with the PowerPenis Bell. The Husband is interested in reviewing one, but I don’t know that the company is quite that generous.

I’m off to do some more…research. If you play your cards right, you’ll get a taste before Masturbation Month is over…stay tuned for a surprise or two.

And here’s to it always being May in your pants.

Posted by vanessa on May 9th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Stuff I Wrote | 6 Comments »

More Nudie Cuties

I got a million of ‘em. And I love to share…

languid

seductive

coy

confident

naughty
shy

Posted by vanessa on May 7th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Pics and Stuff, Vintage Pics | 4 Comments »

Sex While Sick = Interesting Results

languid

So I’m on Day 5 of a really annoying cold. It’s not one of those colds that gives me that sexy husky voice. It’s the kind that makes me sound like I’m wearing a snorkel. Finally, though, I’m just well enough to feel REALLY horny.

Anyway, hubby has been only marginally successful at fending off the same crud, so we’ve been leaving each other alone to rest and heal while secretly wanting to exchange germs from every orifice.

We finally admitted this to each other tonight and almost punted the cat up the stairs in our frantic scramble to the bedroom.

Problem: while I do feel quite a bit better, I still can’t breathe from my nose. Heaving one’s bosom and panting can be quite sexy, but my panting tonight seemed more like a death rattle. Fortunately, the husband did most of the heavy lifting for this particular play date. Even so, I think I might have dipped one pedicured toe into the murky waters of breath play.

Speaking of waters, I’ve been known to be an occasional squirter. Well, it’s more like a gush, actually. The thing is, it’s never happened while I’ve been WITH someone, only when I’ve been alone, or doing my phone sessions, so it’s become the stuff of urban legend. I don’t really know if it’s a temporary phenomenon because of The Cold, but let’s just say we’re currently looking into a set of rubber sheets. And we’re sleeping on the guest bed. And I now, finally, have a witness.

Posted by vanessa on April 29th, 2007 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Sexy Stuff | 2 Comments »

The Amora Experience

London has a new adult playground. Amora, located in Piccadilly Circus, promotes itself as the “Academy of Love and Relationships.”

“Receive your personal ‘Whispers’ (an audio guide), your Amora friend, who will accompany you on an extraordinary journey through seven zones exploring your sexuality and relationships - from love and desire to sexual well-being.

Relax and enjoy a fascinating experience that will help you to enjoy a fabulous sex life, ultimately helping you to become a better lover and form fulfilling, happy relationships.”

amusement The experience includes zones such as the Sensorium, where you can explore aphrodisiacs, erotic food games, sexy stripping and sensual massage. You might enjoy exploring the Fetish Room…and there is even an Orgasm Tunnel, an “immersive experience into exactly what happens to our minds and bodies in the moments before, during and after an orgasm.”

Sounds like the Experience Music Project with fewer clothes. Definitely going on my to-do list ASAP.

Posted by vanessa on April 21st, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Random stuff | No Comments »

Toy Review: Natural Contours Liberte Vibrator

Natural Contours Liberte I was sent the Natural Contours Liberte Vibrator from BetterSex.com to review. I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all, it was free.

If I were using this as a dildo, I would give it a great review. In fact, I might just try it as a it makes an excellent G-spot stimulator. It’s very smooth and comfortable to hold in the hand. As a clitoral stimulator, however, it is sorely lacking.

First, it doesn’t have nearly enough power to get me off, since it only runs on 2 AA batteries (included). You guys know I’m a plug-in girl, but some battery-operated vibes have been known to pleasure me - I always give them the benefit of the doubt until they let me down. Lady “Liberte” didn’t really let me down - she let my clit down.

The controls are fiddly, too. Basically, it has just a single toggle button. The button runs through the speeds in the wrong direction. The first speed is the highest speed. If you want to change speeds, you must go through all the speeds, High>Med>Low>High Pulse>Off (!?) - to select which you want. I would prefer the speed to increase with the push of a button, not decrease, and I would REALLY prefer to be able to adjust it up or down without turning it off, for chrissakes. Talk about a mood killer!

I haven’t tried any other products in this line. I would go with a product in the same line provided it had more power and a better designed control.

G-spot stimulator Rating: ★★★½☆,

Clitoral stimulator Rating: ★★½☆☆

Posted by vanessa on April 15th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff | No Comments »

The Perverts’ Saloon

Suzanne Portnoy (I told you about her book, The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker) is hosting the 1st London Perverts’ Saloon Tea Party next weekend. Suzanne was kind enough to invite me and I’m looking forward to meeting my fellow sex bloggers and perverts-in-arms.

So far, though, everyone who has RSVP’d is female. Strange, I would have thought that men would be more inclined than women to show up to a sex-themed party, but I guess I have much to learn about the world of sex writers/entertainers/workers.

I had promised Suzanne I would read an excerpt from her book as part of a podcast but she is much less of a procrastinator than I am and has since recorded her own narration, available on Audible. She does a fine job. Of course, she’s no Vanessa (hehe) but she has her own style.

Of course I’m going to tell you all about the party when I return. Hmmm…I wonder what a bunch of oversexed women will do on a Sunday afternoon? I’m sure we’ll think of something…

Posted by vanessa on April 13th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Random stuff | 1 Comment »

Spring Cutie

Spring is my favorite time of year. Everything is so…fertile.

This little honey is for me–she is SO my type. I can’t believe someone actually put a stamp on her and mailed her!

Mmmmmmm. Happy Spring. Enjoy!

Spring Cutie

Posted by vanessa on March 21st, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff | No Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

vanessa@talktovanessa.com

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.