Archive for the 'Stuff I Wrote' Category


A_Noyer_1708_a Real intimacy.

I had never experienced actual intimacy before now. The kind that makes you feel as though your souls are embracing.

OK, it sounds soppy and starry-eyed. But for someone with a history of boundary and trust issues, letting go to experience true intimacy is damn near earth-shattering.

True intimacy.

I had no idea what that was. Sure, I’ve had “intimate” relations with my share of men…but it’s always been sex. I’ve not made this admission publicly before, but I would always detach — having almost an out-of-body experience — during sex. Like what I imagine a prostitute or porn actress does. Even with a (former) husband of almost 2 decades.

Yeah, it was probably some kind of protective mechanism. If I’m not mentally/emotionally present, then I’m not letting anyone get close, right? It’s just sex. It might even be good sex. Hell, some of it was downright nasty, wild monkey-sex. But it’s still just sex. And it always left me feeling hollow. Unfulfilled.

Obviously it didn’t happen all at once. And I don’t think it could have happened with anyone else, ever. We just made this spiritual connection early in our relationship and took it to depths we never imagined possible. It required a commitment to absolute honesty, soul-baring confessions of past sins, tears, forgiveness, comfort, passion and a big heaping helping of love.

Our sex life has changed dramatically. It was always great. Now it’s transcendent. Truly amazing. Almost tantric. I’m always present. And it’s better than I could have ever imagined.

Posted by vanessa on August 23rd, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff I Wrote | 1 Comment »

The Gray-Blues

s003-4I think I’ve figured it out. I’m slowly becoming an albino.

Every month I stand in the same spot (in front of a large mirror with great lighting) and tweeze out a few of these really strange hairs from my head. These unusual hairs have completely lost their pigmentation and contrast markedly with my natural, (waist-length) dark brown locks.

Each month, there seems to be an ever larger number of these pigment-free hairs. I can only assume that I am a late-blooming (Type-II?) albino. Any day now, I expect my eyes to lose their deep coffee color as well.

There can be no other explanation, as I am still on the fun side of forty, thus, it is incomprehensible that these unusual findings would have any relation to age. I am at my sexual peak. I am a sex blogger. I am ageless.

I will begin to do research into becoming albinistic.

I imagine I will need to stay out of the sun, as the natural melanin in my formerly tan-friendly skin will diminish, and I shall become much more likely to burn.

I will most likely need to wear sunglasses, as I shall become photophobic.

I may join a support group, say the Albinism Fellowship (UK and Ireland) or NOAH (in the US).

I shall listen to Johnny and/or Edgar Winter in a show of solidarity.

This should be a fascinating case. I may even make it into JAMA.

I promise to keep you posted with any new developments as they unfold.

Posted by vanessa on August 15th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff I Wrote | 1 Comment »

Book Review: Naked On The Internet

Now that I’m back online with a new computer and have *most* of my data recovered, the first order of business is the review I promised Audacia Ray for her book, Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration. Here it is, Dacia, and, considering my situation, only a week late!

imageI felt privileged to be one of the women interviewed by Audacia Ray for her first book, Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration.

The first thing that struck me about Naked it what it’s not. It’s not pornographic. It’s not erotic. It’s not even titillating. It is a meticulously researched, deftly written examination of how women use the internet, specifically with regard to sex, and how the online experience has changed women’s views of themselves, both positively and negatively. Ray offers a sociological, almost anthropological, dissection of the way our behavior and attitudes have changed as a result of technology;

“Naked on the Internet is entirely consumed with the effects
of personal computers and the things women get up to when
they are alone with their machines, their Internet connections,
and their desires.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by vanessa on June 28th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff I Wrote | No Comments »

Ah, Men!

ah, men! I guess Father’s Day is an appropriate time to talk about men. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought lately and I’ve reached a definite conclusion.

I love men. I mean, I really love men. I can’t get enough of them.

Sure, I’d love to have my chance with a woman, but there is absolutely zero chance of me being a lesbian. Men simply turn me on too much.

I love a powerful man. Strong. Tall. Confident. I love knowing he can overpower me…if I want him to.

I love men in wool, silk, cashmere, denim or leather. Double-breasted or single-malt. Burberry Brit or Acqua di Gio.

When I see a particularly nice specimen my stomach gets all flippety. I can’t help but get a little flirty. Is that wrong?

A charming man can disarm me. Especially if he has a sharp wit. I’m helpless. Seriously. It’s pathetic. And if he has a dog, oh, goodness gracious me! I’m only writing about it and I’m all verklempt!

A great smile can make me tingle. And eyes - oh, it’s all about the eyes. There’s a certain quality - a combination of humor, sensitivity, confidence, mystery and lust - that can make me wet with a single glance.

Next time you see me smiling at you in Sainsbury’s, just know that you’ve made my day a little more…sexy.

Ah, men. I’m all yours.

Posted by vanessa on June 17th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff I Wrote | 3 Comments »

All Day Love

goodmorning We made love all day yesterday.

My first waking moments; your gentle fingers stroking my shoulders, my cheeks, down my back, the curves of my hips, the swell of my ass. Your warm, moist breath on my neck.

Good Morning.

The day’s routine was punctuated with passing strokes, stolen snuggles, tender kisses. A grazed breast, lightly, surreptitiously, in the market. Even mundane chores were electric with promise. You grew firm just by gazing in my eyes. Not yet.

I couldn’t wait much past lunch. I called to you. Yearning. You came to me. Eager.

Deft fingers brought me to my first peak. You didn’t realize then what a feat that was - many have tried, few have succeeded. Kudos. And, thank you.

togetherWe merged, finally. Embracing tightly, as though it would be our last. Limbs intertwined. Undulating, together, on a sea of tangled sheets. Crescendo.

As always, you cleansed me after. Diligently. Reverently. Nobody else has ever done that. Too sexy for words.

Dinner and a Rom-Com in each other’s arms on the sofa. Giggles. Tears. Sweet whispers. Then to bed.

Holding, caressing. Soft kisses. Tender words. Supposed to be getting sleepy. Not quite.

Once more. You were harder, bigger; impressive, considering the intensity of our earlier exchange. I had more to release as well. Not often the case, that many in one day. No less intense the second time. Bliss.

cuddlesMy last waking moments; your gentle fingers stroking my shoulders, my cheeks, down my back, the curves of my hips, the swell of my ass. Your warm, moist breath on my neck.

Good night.

Posted by vanessa on May 20th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Stuff I Wrote | 6 Comments »


Moreish adj (môr’·ĭsh)
(Usage: Brit) Said especially of a food: so tasty, delicious, etc. that one wants to keep eating more of it.


I wonder, my darling - has anyone ever told you how positively moreish you are?

I can’t seem to get enough of you.

I can’t hold you closely enough…

I can’t kiss you passionately enough…

I can’t pull you inside deeply enough…

Even when we’re finished, breathless, spent -

I still want more of you.

Posted by vanessa on May 16th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Stuff I Wrote | 2 Comments »

Toy Review: The Eroscillator

Friends, lovers, playmates; in honor of May being Masturbation Month, I give you The Eroscillator.

**trumpet fanfare**

ooohhhhLet me start off by saying that it’s taken me six months to write this review. That’s not because I haven’t wanted to. It’s because I’ve been doing…um…extensive research. In the name of journalistic integrity, of course. In fact, the Eroscillator has been the most rigorously tested of any toy I’ve reviewed.

Dr. Ruth has never endorsed another sensual aid, but she is the Eroscillator celebrity endorse-person. That got my attention. I had to try it. So, the Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo was my Xmas prezzie.

Admittedly, when I saw this puppy my first thought was, dayyumm, that’s one expensive vibrator! Are the reviews true? Could it really be worth it?

Oh yes. Every freakin’ penny. Read on.

First of all, the Eroscillator is NOT a vibrator. A vibrator vibrates. A vibrator feels nice for a while, but eventually makes my clit numb. When my clit is numb, well, I’m done for the night. I might not want to be done but, Goodnight, Irene. I. Am. Finished.

Smart Oscillating Engine. The Eroscillator uses sophisticated Swiss engineering to oscillate back and forth inside the housing for powerful but gentle stimulation. It doesn’t vibrate. It doesn’t make my clit numb. That’s a big deal. Huge. Limitless-Orgasms-Huge. And, the head moves inside the housing, so the housing stays put. I’m stimulating my punani, not my hand.

Multiple Power Settings. One critical distinction is that the speeds don’t increase the frequency of the movement…they increase the intensity. That means every speed is enjoyable. I can’t say that about something like the Hitachi Magic Wand. (Actually, the HMW is just a half-step down from a belt sander. Not clit-friendly.) The Eroscillator’s three speeds are powered by a 14v motor (step-down converted so it’s safer for you) and 12-feet of cord. Yes, you read that right. 12 feet. It will reach to the chandeliers. Hell, I can plug this baby in and take it halfway to Marks & Spencer. What I’m trying to say is that the cord doesn’t get in the way when we’re gettin’ our freak on.

Whisper Quiet. Yeah, it really is. We were pleasantly surprised. No distracting lawnmower buzzing during the intimate moments. My apologies if you have a lawnmower fetish.

Watertight. Can be washed under running water so you’re ready to go for next time. I wouldn’t take it in the bath, though. (That’s why God created the WaterPik Shower MassageWaterpik Shower Massage.)

So, on to my experience. Right out of the box, I had one of the fastest, most intense orgasms of my life. It took about 90 seconds, tops. My lips (on my face) were literally quivering. This was a whole different level of orgasm. Like a higher plane of consciousness. Incredible. Then I just kept on going…er…coming. Actually, I didn’t know whether I was coming OR going. One after another after another. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to stop until I was spent. When it was over, I was but a whimper on a tangled heap of soaked sheets.

The next day, I threw my other vibrators out.

The Eroscillator comes in your choice of two versions and five packages. The Eroscillator 2 Plus packages come with some basic head attachments and a standard power appliance. The Top Deluxe model has extra power, for women like me who need a little boost, and more attachments. All attachments are available separately too. I was lucky enough to get the Ultimate Combo. Yep, I got the whole enchilada for my pink taco. Holy guacamole!!

My favorite attachment? The Ultra Soft Finger Tip (pictured below). It’s a medical grade silicone elastomer…just the right amount of squishiness to give a really lovely clit licking.

This is one toy that gets my unequivocal yes. Yes. GOD, YES!

Rating: ★★★★★+

If you own a clitoris, you simply must treat yourself. I can’t stress this enough. If your partner has one, surprise her and make her decade. You won’t regret it.

Oh, you can support this site by ordering it through my affiliate link below and Amazon will gimme some candy!

I’m hearing rumors about their companion product for men, the Ooh-la-la! Prostate Massager with the PowerPenis Bell. The Husband is interested in reviewing one, but I don’t know that the company is quite that generous.

I’m off to do some more…research. If you play your cards right, you’ll get a taste before Masturbation Month is over…stay tuned for a surprise or two.

And here’s to it always being May in your pants.

Posted by vanessa on May 9th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Stuff I Wrote | 6 Comments »

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.