Fame Is Inconvenient

MoodyThis is the crappiest time ever to have writer’s block. Audacia Ray’s book, Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet SexplorationNaked On The Internet, dropped this week. I’m quoted in there and my URL is listed as well, which means an increase in traffic to the site. And I got nothin’. Nada. Bupkis.

Mostly it’s because I’m cycling and so I’m moody and restless and feel like crap. That shouldn’t affect my ability to write, but it does. It’s hard to write about sex when you don’t feel like having any. ever. again.

But, this shall pass, as it does every month.

I shall live to fuck write another day!

Dacia has arranged reviews of her book to roll out on various blogs this month…and I’m due to post my review on June 21, but here’s a link where you can get it in the meantime…and I get some candy if you order through this link.


Posted by vanessa on June 6th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Stuff On My Mind | No Comments »

Happy Blogiversary To Me

Happy BlogiversaryI can’t believe it’s been a year since I launched TalkToVanessa.com. Let’s see…where was I then and where am I now?

One Year Ago: Happily married but sexually uninspired, living in Seattle, with three dogs and a minivan.

Today: Happily married (to a different man), sexually invigorated, living in England, with a cat and an oyster card.

So…same old, same old…what’s new with YOU?

Posted by vanessa on April 22nd, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff | 1 Comment »

The Perverts’ Saloon

Suzanne Portnoy (I told you about her book, The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker) is hosting the 1st London Perverts’ Saloon Tea Party next weekend. Suzanne was kind enough to invite me and I’m looking forward to meeting my fellow sex bloggers and perverts-in-arms.

So far, though, everyone who has RSVP’d is female. Strange, I would have thought that men would be more inclined than women to show up to a sex-themed party, but I guess I have much to learn about the world of sex writers/entertainers/workers.

I had promised Suzanne I would read an excerpt from her book as part of a podcast but she is much less of a procrastinator than I am and has since recorded her own narration, available on Audible. She does a fine job. Of course, she’s no Vanessa (hehe) but she has her own style.

Of course I’m going to tell you all about the party when I return. Hmmm…I wonder what a bunch of oversexed women will do on a Sunday afternoon? I’m sure we’ll think of something…

Posted by vanessa on April 13th, 2007 .
Filed under: Sexy Stuff, Random stuff | 1 Comment »

An Unmarried Woman…briefly.

coupleStill quite jet-lagged after a two-week whirlwind trip back to the US to get married. Actually, most of the last 8 months has been a whirlwind, but things should be settling down now.

Yes, for those of you keeping score, I did, in fact, get divorced and remarried within 6 weeks. I know it sounds a bit sudden, but it made sense for us. I couldn’t stay in the UK without a spouse visa, and he can’t come to the US without one.

I must recommend the Pan Pacific Seattle hotel. Can’t say enough about the service - excellent staff, super location (upstairs from a brand-new Whole Foods) and everything is all new. And, as a bonus, you can give the folks looking through the space needle telescopes a great show!

I miss Seattle terribly - got a little homesick on my last day - and can’t wait to return…after we complete our game of musical visas courtesy of the INS.

Glad to be back in the blog saddle…stay tuned for the imminent release of Vanessa’s Guide to Erotic Photography.

Posted by vanessa on March 14th, 2007 .
Filed under: Random stuff | No Comments »

Spammers Can Lick My Cat’s Ass


This was me, just a few hours ago.

I woke up this morning to find that my entire site had been suspended. Turns out some asshat had been using the “contact me” form to turn my site into a spam relay. The worst part was, my host (id-May ase-Phay dot om-cay) seemed to think that I was the criminal and locked me out completely so that I had no way of fixing it, then proceeded to ask what I was planning on doing to fix it.


So, after I explained exactly where I thought their heads were placed anatomically, they let me back in to my control panel. I removed the contact form, and I hope I solved the problem. Unfortunately, this means that if you want to contact me privately, you have to send me a mail to Vanessa (at talktovanessa.com). Sorry for the extra step, but I don’t have any choice. Until I can get a secure contact form (is there one?) it has to go via email.

Here’s the thing. Spammers wouldn’t spam if they didn’t think they would make money. They wouldn’t make money if the Nigerian Viagra peddlers didn’t pay them per hit. And the Nigerian Viagra peddlers wouldn’t pay them per hit if people didn’t buy their crap. (Personally, I think the Nigerian people are getting a bad rap all because of a few asshats).

Are you buying their crap? I’m sure not buying their crap. Who in hell is buying this crap? Any people, and I use the term loosely, who agree to give these guys so much as one thin dime, are the entire reason spam exists. We could wipe spam out tomorrow if nobody bought their crap anymore.

Listen To Vanessa: Don’t Buy This Crap!!!

Posted by vanessa on February 7th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff On My Mind | 1 Comment »

Why Does She Do It?

I finally had the time to catch up on some blogs that I like to read, and this particular post by O about female sex bloggers is worth noting because it really made me stop and think about why I do what I do. Why I pour out my soul and sexual secrets to the world. Why I have random phone sex…and record it. Why I remain anonymous (except to a very short list of - I hope - trusted friends).

The anonymous part is easy. You already know me. I am the woman in line at the market, at the office party, in the minivan at the car wash. I am your sister, your daughter, your co-worker, your lover, your friend. If you knew it was me writing this, would you see me differently? Would my husband be judged if his boss or clients knew? Would my mother be publicly humiliated? Would my children (if I had them) be dis-invited from play dates and parties? I can take a risk individually, but I cannot extend the risk to the people I love. So, I hide behind the anonymity of cyberspace.

The why is more difficult to answer. More »

Posted by vanessa on August 26th, 2006 .
Filed under: Stuff On My Mind | 6 Comments »

More in journal

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....


...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.