This Day In England

Well, you can learn quite a bit about England from just one day’s news. Here are a few tidbits I have learned today about the little place I’ve been calling home for the past nine months…

  1. If a fire breaks out, tough. Suck it up, Nancy!
  2. We got us some pervs. actually, these guys give pervs a bad name
  3. We have a teeny drinking problem. d’oh!
  4. We’re all gonna die in a horrible flood. again, d’oh!
  5. We’re all gonna die in a massive suicide bombing. Did the knighthood committee really think that through?
  6. If #4 & 5 don’t happen, stay out of the hospital. Those places will kill you.
  7. The Druids need your vote.
  8. London is Better Than Moscow. (but only just)
  9. If the train doesn’t go where you’re going, they just make shit up.
  10. The BBC is biased. Just ask the BBC.

Posted by vanessa on June 18th, 2007 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff, Stuff On My Mind | No Comments »

5 More Googles That Brought You Here

Pert

  1. What Makes Pussy Taste Good
  2. Pics Of Vannessa (sic) Being A Slut (Oi!)
  3. Wild Monkey Dildo
  4. Circumcised By Girlfriend (WTF!?)
  5. “man with two penises” -removed (o.m.f.g.) 8O

I love website stats.

Just remember, there’s always somebody watching.

Posted by vanessa on May 13th, 2007 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Lists of Stuff | 1 Comment »

5 kinda cool things about living in England

  1. The mail service - Royal Mail (post it today, it’s there tomorrow)
  2. Cottage pie
  3. The age of consent is sixteen. Sixteen.
  4. Müller Rice - Vanilla Custard flavor. omigod.
  5. When you order tea with milk in a restaurant, the server will NOT return with either: a) a pitcher of half & half; b) a full glass of milk; c) packets of non-dairy creamer

Posted by vanessa on January 16th, 2007 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | 2 Comments »

Things People Googled That (Somehow) Led Them To My Website

  • spencers baggies
  • creepy street names
  • sexy circumcision scars
  • humped zebra crossing
  • hindu guys have foreskin
  • kevlar athletic cups
  • world record tiniest pencil

Posted by vanessa on September 9th, 2006 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | No Comments »

5 Kinda Creepy Street Signs I’ve Seen In England

1.  "Humped Zebra Crossing"
2.  "Look Right"
3.  "Faggotts Close"
4.  "Humps for 450 Yards"
5.  "COSTCO Entrance "

Posted by vanessa on July 28th, 2006 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | 2 Comments »

Stranger In A Strange Land

England is beautiful - looks quite a bit like Seattle. I still haven’t decided whether I could live here, but I’ve started a list of pros and cons.

Pro: Just about everyone here has a gorgeous English accent, which keeps me perpetually moist.
Con: The humidity has been fairly steady at about 85%, which keeps me perpetually moist.

Pro: Healthcare is free to all UK residents.
Con: Paperback books cost about US $15 and gas is US $7.50-8.00/gallon.

Pro: Indian food is widely available and delicious.
Con: I found hamburgers in a tin. Hamburgers. In. A. Tin.

I still have four more weeks here, so I’m sure I’ll be adding to my list…

Posted by vanessa on July 13th, 2006 .
Filed under: Random stuff, Lists of Stuff | No Comments »

5 Things On My Computer Desk That Don’t Really Belong Here

1. MAC lipstick, #A25 “Midimauve”

2. Hair turban, still slightly damp

3. Story Of O - Pauline Reage

4. Prescription bottle (oxycodone 5mg, half-full)

5. Pjur Eros original bodyglide personal lubricant, 10ml

Posted by vanessa on June 11th, 2006 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff | No Comments »

More in journal

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

vanessa@talktovanessa.com

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.