Mmm. Slurp These Noodles, Baby!

I can be a bit technologically bipolar. When I buy a new gadget, I need to have the absolute cutting edge. But when it comes to popular trends in software, I tend to dig in my heels.

I’ve only just downloaded my very first RSS feed reader, the 30-day trial version of FeedDemon from Newsgator. So far, so good. It’s allowed me to catch up on all the wonderful blogs I [say I] read, as well as find a few new ones, and keep up with the news without having to search it out and visit all the websites I hate.

So I’m reading the feed for Forbes (yes, Vanessa does read more than sex blogs) and I find this.

The Chinese chapter of the International Ramen Manufacturers’ Association could be banned for allegedly manipulating the retail price of 95% of instant noodles on the market in the country.

topramenWe’re talking about pot noodles, the staple of every college dormitory and probable source of 90% of all dietary sodium consumed worldwide.

When something costs $0.12/package, it’s hard to imagine any sort of price-fixing, and it made me giggle. But I think what made me almost wet my pants was the idea of an International Ramen Manufacturers’ Association.

I couldn’t help myself. I had to google the IRMA. Here is their charter:

The purpose of the Association shall be to seek improvement in the quality of instant ramen products, to secure their continued supply, and to contribute to a healthy and varied diet for the people all over the world.
At the same time, the Association shall seek to develop the instant ramen manufacturing industry, improve its social status and cultivate fellowship among its members.

I am not making this up.

At this year’s 5th Annual World Ramen Summit the theme was “Happy World with Ramen!” with presentations on such topics as “National Trends in Instant Noodles Demands.”

They have even developed a codex for “The First Year Of Global Standard Ramen.”

oodlesofnoodlesTo their credit, they do supply hundreds of thousands of units of ramen noodles to disaster victims worldwide. “for the victims who were suffered from disasters such as typhoon, earthquake and tsunami.”

Not quite sure where the victims get the hot water, though. I’ll have to think that through…

Posted by vanessa on August 12th, 2007 .
Filed under: Funny Stuff | No Comments »

Vegans Say Sex With Carnivores Stinks?

I wonder how much of New Zealand’s public money went into this study.

Vegans say sex with meat-eaters stinks

NEW YORK, Aug. 2 (UPI) — Strict vegetarians known as vegans find sex with meat-eaters repulsive, or as one New York vegan described it, “pungent” and “stinky.”
New Zealand researcher Annie Potts, of the University of Canterbury’s Center for Human-Animal Studies, interviewed 157 vegans, 120 of whom were female, on their sexual preferences.
In an interview with ABC News in New York, Potts said all of the female vegans “didn’t want to engage in intimate sex … because of the smells and tastes of their body fluids.” Full Story

6932594Well, dear readers, Mr. Vanessa enjoys a vegan diet, while Vanessa chooses to be an omnivore. Mr. Vanessa says he hates when vegans make comments like this…because it “ruins it for the rest of us” and makes all vegans look like elitist assholes.

And Mr. Vanessa has, to date, registered no complaints about the taste of Vanessa’s love honey.

This whole argument, however, makes one wonder whether vegans should be consuming any human bodily fluid in the first place…though you won’t hear me complaining.

Posted by vanessa on August 4th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff On My Mind | 1 Comment »

Gender Equity? Sounds Like A Lot Of Bull

As I write this, thousands of Spaniards are smack in the middle of the encierro, the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona.

Apparently some women there are clamoring for their own encierro, but with cows, instead of bulls.

Women demand female Pamplona bull run, with cows

MADRID (Reuters) - Women in the northern Spanish city of Pamplona, world-famous for its ferocious bull-running festival, are demanding their own version complete with cows instead of bulls. Read more…

Now, I won’t even get into what a completely pathetic, stupid and cruel idea the original event is. That’s a whole other discussion. What strikes me here is the idea of wanting equal time that isn’t really equal. Cows are not bulls. Any rancher will tell you that. Cows are lovely, gentle creatures lacking two critical pairs of features: balls and horns. Sure, you run the risk of getting trampled by a herd of cows, but you could get trampled by a herd of anything scared and moving quickly down a narrow alley. Turkeys, even. But cows and turkeys won’t gore your sorry ass. (Or your “upper thigh.”)

But the request made me think of a larger issue: When it comes to gender equity, I believe we should demand it, and settle for nothing less. But cows are not gender equity.

shuttlecock!!

I don’t believe in setting the bar lower simply because we’re the fairer sex. Equal means equal. I don’t need special considerations. Don’t make allowances for me. If I choose to compete, it will be on a level playing field.

This year was the first year that the female singles winner at Wimbledon was awarded a cash prize equal to the male singles winner. The first year. It’s freaking 2007, and this was the first year the pay was equal?

Very soon we will have the strongest opportunity we’ve ever had to decide whether we want a woman to lead our country. I’ve maintained for years that we will see all colors and creeds of men in the white house before the people will choose a woman. And that’s in a country with a female majority. I’m just pessimistic that way. I hope I’m proven wrong - though I’m not saying I wish it were with Hilary - I’m not yet convinced that she’s necessarily the best choice. I just don’t believe I’ll see a woman president in my lifetime and I don’t know how to change that except insist that we stop asking for special consideration. We don’t need it. We’re not inferior, weaker, less-than. We’re female. And that shouldn’t matter.

Keep your cows, amigos. If I run, I run with balls.

Muchas gracias.

Posted by vanessa on July 11th, 2007 .
Filed under: Stuff On My Mind | 2 Comments »

This Day In England

Well, you can learn quite a bit about England from just one day’s news. Here are a few tidbits I have learned today about the little place I’ve been calling home for the past nine months…

  1. If a fire breaks out, tough. Suck it up, Nancy!
  2. We got us some pervs. actually, these guys give pervs a bad name
  3. We have a teeny drinking problem. d’oh!
  4. We’re all gonna die in a horrible flood. again, d’oh!
  5. We’re all gonna die in a massive suicide bombing. Did the knighthood committee really think that through?
  6. If #4 & 5 don’t happen, stay out of the hospital. Those places will kill you.
  7. The Druids need your vote.
  8. London is Better Than Moscow. (but only just)
  9. If the train doesn’t go where you’re going, they just make shit up.
  10. The BBC is biased. Just ask the BBC.

Posted by vanessa on June 18th, 2007 .
Filed under: Lists of Stuff, Stuff On My Mind | No Comments »

More in journal

About Vanessa...

Vanessa is a genus of butterflies. Common names are American Lady (Vanessa virginiensis), West Coast Lady (Vanessa annabella) and Painted Lady (Vanessa cardui).

I'm Vanessa. I'm always a Lady. Talk to me....

vanessa@talktovanessa.com

...and then YOU said...

  • Curvaceous Dee: Being happy is a hell of a lot more important than writing to keep us happy. I am so pleased for you!...
  • Pog: Hey Vanessa, Your husband is a very lucky man indeed. Take care, Pog.
  • havingmycake: Very worrying time for you both. Hope there is a good outcome.
  • Curvaceous Dee: *applauds* Oh, I am so pleased! It’s such a rare and special thing, and you well deserve it....
  • lapis ruber: That sounds a really nasty event. Glad you weren’t more seriously injured. Happy belated HNT.